Some communication is intentional, such as messaging a friend to let her know you’ll be away from your computer and using a mutually understood code (BRB!). Other communication is spontaneous and therefore unintentional (Buck, 1988; Motley, 1990). For example, you communicate a message when you blush, even though blushing is an involuntary action. The distinction between the two types of communication can be described as the difference between giving information and giving off information (Goffman, 1967).

These distinctions are important: we tend to see involuntary messages as more honest and reliable because the person giving off the information doesn’t have the opportunity to censor it. However, most spontaneous messages are ambiguous: Is your face red because you’re embarrassed? Because you’re angry? Because you’ve had a hot cup of tea? Because you just ran up six flights of stairs? Other surrounding cues may give us more clues to the meaning, but in the end our final assessment can still be questionable. The most successful communicators are sensitive to the fact that both intended and unintended messages exert an impact on the people around them.