Having exemplary skills in one area does not make someone competent overall: your mechanic may work wonders on your car, but that doesn’t mean he can give you a great haircut. The same idea is true for great communicators: a politician who delivers a great speech may falter during a debate or interview; a social worker who conveys instructions clearly to her staff may have trouble clarifying her points during a meeting with the hospital board.

Communication skills are behavioral abilities based on social understandings that are used to achieve particular goals (such as asking for a raise, maintaining a relationship, or working on a team). Some of us may instinctively be better at communication than others, but all of us can benefit from experience and practice at developing our skills to find the best choice of words or the most appropriate tone of voice to use with our relational partners or work teams.

People who are judged as incompetent in some situations often don’t know that they are unskilled; their inflated image of themselves seems to block their awareness (Dunning & Kruger, 1999). For example, suppose you see yourself as a great team player. During the evaluation at the end of a class project, you’re surprised to learn that your teammates see you as “bossy.” This feedback suggests that while you may be good at leading a team, you’re less adept at working alongside others as an equal. The lesson? You may need to master some new communication skills to be a competent group member. In fact, having a number of skills increases your behavioral options, thereby boosting your odds of success in communicating with others.