Chapter 2: Perceiving the Self and Others

Improving Your Perceptions

Improving your perceptions is helpful in many communication situations. In Chapter 12, you learn how considering different aspects of an audience’s demographic background can help you to target your message specifically to them (or know what to talk about in the first place).

Making accurate perceptions can be challenging. For example, in the classic basketball film Hoosiers, Gene Hackman plays Hickory High basketball coach Norman Dale. Dale’s small-town players are intimidated by the cavernous arena where they’ll be playing for the Indiana state championship. Though they know the court is regulation size, it looks enormous to them. Dale uses a tape measure to confirm the height of the basket and the distance from the foul line. Only then do they believe that the court is the same size as the one they play on in their gym. This restores their confidence.

The following suggestions can help you improve your perception abilities and thus become a better communicator.

Be thoughtful when you seek explanations. Look beyond the most obvious explanation for what you observe. For example, your roommate, usually tidy, may have left your place a mess this morning. Rather than declaring that he is a slob, consider whether he felt ill last night or whether he needed to rush off to an exam. Being thoughtful sometimes means just pausing to give yourself time to evaluate. If someone’s Facebook status update offends you, don’t comment right away. Be mindful by taking a deep breath and thinking through your reaction so you can reduce negative perceptions and their effects (Partnoy, 2012).
Look beyond first impressions. Don’t rely completely on your first impressions; these often lead to inaccurate conclusions. Consider Meghan, who frequently comes off as loud when people first meet her, but her manner springs from a love for meeting new people, so she enthusiastically asks questions while getting to know them. Hold off forming a judgment until you can gather further perceptions.
Question your assumptions. Don’t assume that you know what others think, feel, or believe based on their group affiliations or a host of other cultural factors. For example, many traditional-aged, residential college students assume that most other college students are busy getting drunk and having casual sex. Research shows, however, that many students are far less comfortable with these behaviors than they assume other students are (Reiber & Garcia, 2010). Thinking that everyone else in your demographic believes the opposite of you is a common perceptual error (Beiser, 2013).