One of the first phrases that eighteen-month-old Josie learned to use was “thank you.” Had this toddler already mastered the rules of etiquette? Was she just picking up a habit from her parents? Or was she learning that certain phrases would help her get things she wants: a compliment, a smile, a cookie?

We all learn isolated words and grammar as we acquire language. Josie, for example, probably picked up the expression “thank you” from her parents, her older brother, or her babysitter. But to become a competent communicator, she must learn to use this and other symbols appropriately. If Josie uses “thank you” as a name for her stuffed bear, she’s not using it appropriately, so she’s not communicating effectively. Communication acquisition is the process of learning individual words in a language as well as how to use that language appropriately and effectively in various contexts. Just as Josie gets a smile from her parents for saying “thank you,” using language competently helps us to achieve our goals.

Researchers have identified five competencies (Wood, 1982) for how language behaviors function: controlling, informing, feeling, imagining, and ritualizing. We all develop these competencies when we’re young by interacting with family and peers and observing television and other media. These competencies remain important throughout our lives. For that reason, we now look at them more closely.