When little Josie says “thank you” for her cookie, it’s a sign that she is learning the fifth functional competency: ritualizing. Ritualizing involves the rules for managing conversations and relationships. We begin learning these rules as children: peekaboo games require us to learn turn-taking in conversations. When we learn to say “hi” or “bye-bye” or “please,” we internalize politeness rituals.

In adulthood, ritualizing effectively means saying and doing the “right” thing at weddings, funerals, dinners, athletic events, and other social gatherings. Simple exchanges, like telling a bride and groom “congratulations” or offering condolences to a grieving friend, are some ways we ritualize language. However, our ritualizing is not always that formal, nor is it limited to big events. In our everyday lives we use ritual comments to support one another in relationships, such as “Have a great day, Honey!” “You’re going to nail that speech” or even just “I’ll text you later. . . .”