Nonverbal communication functions to contradict the verbal when the behavioral cues convey the opposite of the verbal message. Sometimes this is unintentional, as when you clearly look upset but say that nothing’s wrong, and you don’t realize your nonverbal behavior is giving you away. Other times, contradicting behavior is intentional. For instance, Caroline sighs deeply to get Andy to ask, “What’s wrong?” She can keep the attention coming by refusing to answer or by tersely stating, “Nothing.” Although such tactics can get another person’s attention, they’re deceptive because they take advantage of the person’s concern in order to serve selfish purposes.

Contradicting behavior is also part of what makes joking around, teasing, and the use of sarcasm (cutting remarks) so powerful. When you roll your eyes and say, “Wow, that was a captivating lecture,” you let your classmate know that, despite your words, you found listening to your professor about as interesting as vacuuming. Contradicting behavior can work positively as well. For instance, your friend calls to your beloved dog, “Come here, you smelly, ugly little monster!” Your friend’s smile, high pitch, and open arms reveal that your friend really thinks your dog is adorable.