In the fashion world, the gowns worn by prominent trendsetters are always big news. So, when Michelle Obama wore a stunning Naeem Kahm sheath to a state dinner, newspapers and bloggers were bound to comment. But the buzz the following morning was not over what she wore but on how to explain the color of the gown. The gown, described by its designer as “a sterling-silver sequin, abstract floral, nude strapless gown,” was a color somewhere between peach and sand. The Associated Press initially described it as “flesh-colored,” but changed it to “champagne” when one editor questioned: “Whose flesh? Not hers” (Phanor-Faury, 2010).

This is a simple and common example of ethnocentrism, a belief in the superiority of your own culture or group and a tendency to view other cultures through the lens of your own. Together with intercultural anxiety, ethnocentrism can inhibit our ability to have satisfying intercultural interactions and experiences (Neuliep, 2012). Ethnocentrism can make communication biased: we tend to communicate from the perspective of our own group without acknowledging other perspectives. The offense is often unintended, which further reveals the fact that we sometimes behave in ways that “normalize” one group and marginalize another—without even realizing it. Describing a peach-colored dress as “flesh” colored, for example, insinuates that light-colored skin is the default standard, and that darker skin tones are therefore something “other” or different from the norm. It’s also unclear. “While beige may be ‘nude’ for most white women,” noted one commentator, “‘nude’ for me would be brown” (Phanor-Faury, 2010).

Ethnocentrism is not the same thing as ethnic or cultural pride. It’s a wonderful and uniquely human experience to express feelings of patriotism or to experience a deep respect for your religion or ethnic heritage. Ethnocentrism arises when you express a bias on behalf of your own co-cultures—when you treat others as inferior or inconsequential, or ignore them altogether. Carlos, for example, is a proud Catholic for whom the Christmas holidays have great religious meaning. He decorates his home with a nativity scene and sends Christmas cards to family and fellow Christians as December 25 draws near. But he also sends a separate set of “Season’s Greetings” cards to his friends who do not celebrate Christmas. He thus shows respect for their traditions while still sharing his wishes for peace and goodwill with them.