As you learned in Chapter 2, being mindful means to be aware of your behavior and others’ behavior. To be mindful, you must know that many of your communication attitudes and behaviors are so rooted in your own culture that they are unconscious. When someone stands a bit too close to you, you might just sense “something funny.” Or you might interpret someone’s very direct eye contact as a sign of hostility rather than merely a cultural difference. Of course, not all uncomfortable interactions stem from cultural differences, but being mindful of the possibility gives you a wider range of effective ways to respond.

You should also ask yourself whether you might be interpreting another person’s behaviors negatively or positively based on whether the individual shares your group memberships. Part of this mindfulness is practicing intercultural sensitivity, or mindfulness of behaviors that may offend others (Bennett & Bennett, 2004). When Luke, who is Catholic, married Caroline, who is Jewish, his mother insisted that the family pictures be taken in front of the church altar and religious statues in the garden outside. This was insensitive to the Jewish side of Caroline’s family. Had Luke’s mother reflected on how she would have felt if her own religious beliefs had been disregarded in this manner, she might have behaved very differently. Being sensitive doesn’t mean giving up your own beliefs and practices, but it does mean not forcing them blindly on others.