That’s Not a Soy Substitute

You and your friend Greg signed a lease for an off-campus apartment—you both wanted the opportunity to cook for yourselves rather than eat in the dining hall every night. In fact, food is actually one of the main reasons that Greg brought up the idea of moving off campus in the first place.

Greg is a strict vegan and does not consume animal products, including meat, dairy, and even honey. You are not a vegan—in fact you’re not even a vegetarian—but you’ve always admired and respected Greg’s passion for animal rights, his affiliation with the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA), and his hard work to become a veterinarian. Before you and Greg decided to move in together, you had a frank conversation during which he told you that he would be uncomfortable having animal products in the apartment and wondered if you would be willing to eat a vegan diet in your shared space. You thought Greg would make a great roommate and you wanted the situation to work out, so you agreed. Besides, you figured you could always grab a cheeseburger on campus.

The arrangement worked out rather well and you barely think about the food restrictions, except for when Greg’s girlfriend Amanda visits. Amanda is well aware of Greg’s desires and views but you suspect that she finds them to be ridiculous and insulting. Sometimes you even feel that she’s trying to bait you into complaining about Greg’s veganism so that the two of you can “gang up” on him in an effort to enact a change of behavior. You tried to stay out of it, but one evening you arrived home to find Amanda alone in your living room, eating a container of pork fried rice—and we’re not talking about some sort of soy pork substitute. “Please don’t tell Greg,” she pleaded. “I told him I’d hang out here until he’s done with class tonight and I got hungry. I cannot eat any of that tofu and wheat gluten stuff in your refrigerator so I ordered takeout. Besides, you must think that his restrictions on what we eat here are crazy . . . don’t you?”

You feel annoyed by this conversation and want to mention it to Greg, but you also feel that Greg and Amanda’s communication and discussions about personal practices and group affiliations are their business. What should you do?