You were happy to lend your friend Jamie a sympathetic ear as Jamie worked through a difficult breakup earlier this year. You were by Jamie’s side when her fiancé moved out; you took care of letting friends know that the romance had ended so she wouldn’t have to go through the pain of telling them herself. You even served as a go-between for her and her ex as they sorted through untangling their lives—helping sort through paperwork and forwarding mail for her. And, of course, as a single person yourself, you were there to empathize as Jamie faced the prospect of heading back into the dating world. You agreed to be each other’s date when attending parties with all of your coupled-up friends and made plans to check out a speed-dating party together as sort of a gag.
But now, only eight months after the breakup, Jamie is in the throes of a new romance with an attractive coworker. You can’t help but feel a bit jealous—you’ve been single for more than three years; it doesn’t seem fair that Jamie should find love so quickly. What’s worse is that Jamie insists on spending as much time as possible with this new love—often at the expense of time with you. You want to support and be happy for your friend, but you’re finding it very difficult to listen to discussions about day hikes and movie nights and sports outings. You find yourself continually avoiding the subject of dating, and as a result, you notice that Jamie seems less interested in talking to you. Somewhat relieved, you start to avoid talking to Jamie at all. You’re not all that surprised when Jamie suddenly asks you why you’re mad. But you don’t really know what to say. You know why you’re avoiding your friend, but you’re sort of embarrassed about your reasons. What should you say?