The notion that “opposites attract” is so common in popular culture that many people take it as an undeniable truth. But despite the popularity of the concept, research shows that attraction is more often based on the degree of similarity we have with another person, whether through shared hobbies, personality traits, backgrounds, appearances, or values (Gonzaga, Campos, & Bradbury, 2007). For example, consider close friends Liza and Cheryl. Liza is an African American student from Denver, a literature major, and a tomboy who loves the Broncos. Cheryl is a white student from Boston, majoring in engineering; she hates sports but follows fashion and rarely steps out of her dorm room without makeup. To an outsider, they seem like a mismatched pair. But ask either of them what they have in common, and they’ll roll off a list of similarities: both grew up in urban neighborhoods, attended all-
Similarity can be closely connected to our perceptions of a person’s attractive qualities. We are often attracted to those we think are about as physically attractive as we are. We also tend to think that when we find someone attractive, we must also have similar other qualities. Sometimes two individuals who hail from the same ethnic group (and thus are more genetically similar) tend to help, favor, and form relationships with people from their own ethnic groups (Rushton, 1980). However, more societal acceptance of diverse friendships and romantic relationships is contributing to more pervasive intercultural relationships (Balaji & Worawongs, 2010; McClintock, 2010). And, as people from various cultures interact more and more, they have opportunities to practice relational skills (like self-