NAME: May Hui

OCCUPATION: Entrepreneur/Matchmaker

As a self-professed romantic, I love bringing people together. So, after years of being a sales, marketing, and operations executive for a Fortune 500 company, I decided to start my own business to help people with the often challenging dating process.

CatchMatchmaking is not your average dating service; my partner and I use relational communication principles to help singles find a “match” and potentially develop a committed relationship. We create articles and YouTube videos to teach our clients the basics of interpersonal communication. This might seem surprising, but a lot of people don’t know what to do on a date; either they haven’t had a lot of dating experience or they have had relationships that “went bad” and are afraid of another failure. After we give them advice and coach them, however, they gain confidence and present themselves better. Here’s how we do it.

First, we interview clients about their answers to questionnaires they complete online. Like most dating services, we match couples according to preferences for religion, height, income level, common interests, goals, and values. But we find that the profiles people create are often so scripted; they might say they are adventurous, but when we follow up about their activities, they may not mean that in the same way that a “match” might (for example, adventurous = climbing Mt. Everest or adventurous = traveling to another town). We go beyond the adjectives to discover that what clients frequently do, how they behave, and what they really want in a “match” are not what they filled out on their questionnaire.

Second, we coach our clients on the basics of self-presentation. Being nicely dressed and groomed shows your date that you care enough to make yourself attractive. Nonverbal behaviors (making eye contact, leaning in, softening tone of voice, smiling) show warmth and interest in the other person.

Third, we help them overcome awkward dating conversations. In the beginning of a relationship, it is important to ask your partner a lot of questions and get him or her talking. After all, whoever talks more usually says the date was great, so sometimes it is important to talk less about yourself and do more to discover details about the other person. It is also important to self-disclose appropriately; sex, religion, and politics are not the best topics for a first date. Neither are past relationships; if your date asks what happened with your last relationship, don’t complain about your past partner or give a bunch of gory details. Instead say, “Yes, I had a relationship that didn’t work out, but I learned something and moved on.” You can save more details for the third, fourth, and fifth dates.

I absolutely love what I am doing, particularly on days when I hear that two clients have become engaged! The communication classes I took are key to the way I run my organization, and the interpersonal courses are key to the success of my business that brings me so much joy.