In The Descendants, actor George Clooney plays Matt King, a real estate lawyer suddenly confronted with significant changes in his relationships. He finds his wife near death and learns of her infidelity almost simultaneously; he is suddenly forced to parent his angry daughters; and he is the cousin in charge of selling off family land in Kauai to developers (Scott, 2011). We witness King’s relationships in flux, challenged by significant relational events called turning points (Baxter & Bullis, 1986)—positive or negative events or changes that stand out in people’s minds as important to defining their relationships (for example, stories about “how we met” or detours such as negative disclosures).

A turning point can often move a relationship into a new “stage”—a different set of feelings and communication behaviors that partners demonstrate. Several scholars argue that relationships, as they change over time, progress through several different predictable stages (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2000). During each stage, our communication patterns differ and our assessments of costs and rewards determine whether our relationship will remain at the same stage, move to a closer stage, or shift to one further apart. Figure 7.3 outlines the relational stages we develop in the following sections.