Unbalanced Costs and Rewards

Your roommate is annoyed that you keep eating her food; you are annoyed that she doesn’t clean the bathroom. Conflict often arises when we are struggling to get a share of some limited resource, such as money, time, or attention. Recall from Chapter 7 that many researchers argue that we treat our interpersonal relationships almost like financial exchanges; we tally up our rewards (what we’re getting from a relationship) and compare these to our costs (what we’re putting into the relationship). If we think our costs are outweighing the rewards, then conflict may likely be triggered. For Callie of Grey’s Anatomy, Arizona’s refusal of intimacy after her leg amputation and Callie’s increased responsibility for household management are costs of this relationship that lead to much tension and many conflicts.