Provocation

• Aggression. Aggressive behaviors range from verbal intimidation to physical threats. Fear and defensiveness (along with even more aggression) are common responses to such behavior.
• Identity threats. When someone insults you personally, it can threaten your identity. Threats to identity management range from mild insults (“Man, you have a dirty car”) to condescending remarks (“I’ll go slowly so you can keep up”) to attacks on one’s values or religion and racial or ethnic slurs.
• Lack of fairness. When someone uses more than his or her fair share of resources—in families, workplaces, or living situations, for example—it commonly stirs up negative reactions.
• Incompetence. When someone you work with or depend on performs poorly, the person is in a sense provoking conflict. Feelings of anger and resentment occur when a lab partner fails to bring needed supplies or write his or her share of the lab report.
• Relationship threats. When a relationship comes under threat, conflict is likely to arise. If your romantic partner reveals things that suggest he or she has other interests, you feel jealousy, anger, or insecurity. Similarly, a young child may see a new baby sibling as a threat to his relationship with his parents, or you might see a new, talented coworker as a threat to your connection with your boss.