If you haven’t already guessed, Lisa and Steven’s approach to managing their conflict over money was an unproductive one. Unproductive conflict is conflict that is managed poorly and has a negative impact on the individuals and relationships involved.

In many respects, our relationships—including those with families, friends, colleagues, and romantic partners—are defined by how we manage conflict. But the damage of unproductive conflict isn’t always limited to relationships. Researchers have discovered that when conflict is handled poorly, those involved can experience a poorer sense of well-being at work (Sonnentag, Unger, & Nagel, 2013), as well as personal health problems, including sleep disruptions (Hicks & Diamond, 2011), emotional distress (Davies, Sturge-Apple, Cicchetti, & Cummings, 2008), mood disorders (Segrin, Hanzal, & Domschke, 2009), heart disease, and immune deficiency (Canary, 2003).