Not all conflict is negative, however. In fact, conflict can be as valuable as it is inevitable! Conflict that is managed effectively is called productive conflict. We don’t always notice the conflicts that we handle productively, as when two people quickly reach a compromise over some issue on which they disagree (like whether to eat at the Olive Garden or Pizza Hut), without argument or confrontation. But productive conflict can also follow unproductive conflict, as when Lisa and Steven, feeling fed up with the debt and realizing that their marriage was in jeopardy, began to confront and work on their financial and relationship problems, cutting their budgets and taking on additional work for more income. By addressing the problem collaboratively—facing the reality of their debt, agreeing on their financial priorities, setting a budget, and making decisions about money together—the couple began both resolving their financial problems and healing their relationship.

It is important to note that productive conflict does not necessarily mean a successful resolution of conflict, but even without resolution, productive conflict can still benefit both parties. Let’s look at a few examples.