Norms

As you saw earlier in the chapter, over time a group will develop norms. Norms emerge within the group and are imposed by members on them-selves and each other; they may not be stated outwardly, but they direct the behavior of the group as a whole and affect the conduct of individual members. In a business environment, norms might dictate the kinds of topics that can be expressed in a meeting (Should non-task-related conversation be interjected? Are jokes appropriate?). In an online group, norms might evolve to govern the use of foul language, negative comments, or criticism. For example, a recent study showed that established members of an online anorexia support group allow new members to share pro-anorexic statements in order to establish that they are ill. In time, however, these members are initiated into the group norm that prohibits such unhealthy and negative statements (Stommel & Koole, 2010).

Some norms have a negative impact on communication. For example, suppose a group permits one member to dominate the conversation or allows members to dismiss an idea before discussing its pros and cons. A group with these norms will have difficulty generating enough diverse ideas to make informed decisions. If you find yourself in a group with unproductive norms like these, consider modifying them—this is possible if you approach the task diplomatically (Brilhart & Galanes, 1992). The following three-step process can help:

  1. Express your loyalty and dedication to the group, to show that you have the group’s best interests at heart. For instance, “I’ve been a member of this school committee for two years now and have hung in there during the tough times as well as the good times. I want to see us be the best we can be.”
  2. Cite specific examples of the behavior you find harmful to the group’s effectiveness. To illustrate, “When we didn’t take time to explore the pros and cons of the special-ed funding strategy that came up last month, we ended up making a decision that we regretted later.”
  3. Ask other members for their opinions about the problem norm you’ve identified. If others feel that the norm is still warranted, they may advocate keeping it (“Well, there are some situations where we don’t have as much time as we’d like to consider the merits of an idea. During those moments, we need to be able to move ahead with a decision quickly”).

With respectful, productive discussion, the group may decide to maintain the norm, change it under specific conditions (“We’ll have someone play devil’s advocate when time allows”), or abandon it entirely.