As you’ve seen in this chapter, individuals value language as a way to gain control in conversations, to share information, express feelings, be creative, and so on. Others, however, are more comfortable with fewer words, even silence.
Complete the following questionnaire about your own beliefs about talking and language use, and rate the frequency that you engage in each behavior. Use the following scale: 5 = almost always; 4 = frequently; 3 = sometimes; 2 = not very often; and 1 = rarely. Then add your scores and consider where you fall on the following continuum.
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1. I enjoy meeting and talking with people. |
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2. In general, I consider myself quite a talker. |
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3. I don’t mind initiating conversations with strangers. |
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4. I like to voice my opinion. |
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5. In general, I enjoy talking. |
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6. I enjoy small talk. |
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7. I like people who talk a lot. |
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8. When talking, I find myself trying to influence others’ opinions and feelings. |
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9. I believe talk is one way to increase intimacy. |
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10. Small talk is an enjoyable use of time. |
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11. I don’t mind taking responsibility for breaking the ice when meeting someone for the first time. |
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12. I talk more when I feel I’m in control of a situation. |
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13. I feel uncomfortable with silences in a conversation. |
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14. In general, I like to be the first one to speak in a discussion. |
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15. I feel comfortable asking a stranger for information. |
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16. When in a discussion, I talk even if I’m unfamiliar with the topic. |
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17. I enjoy going out to meet and talk with people. |
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18. I find myself turning on the radio or TV just to hear the sound of someone’s voice. |
Your score: out of 90
You enjoy and value talk and are not apprehensive about talking; you see talking as a social experience and, as a rule, you are uncomfortable with silence.
You have a more measured approach to talk, using it to accomplish goals and meet the norms of the situation. You are comfortable with silence and more likely to adjust your rate of talking to that of your partner(s).
You do not enjoy a lot of talk and prefer to use it with a purpose in mind. Silence is comfortable for you and you do not rush to fill it with words.
Note: Different cultures value talk in different ways, so it might be important for you to adapt your use of language or silence according to the situation. In addition, competent communicators remember that being appropriate and effective means talking up at times, being sociable with talk, but also knowing when to be quiet and let others talk.
Source: Adapted from Honeycutt & Wiemann (1999) and Wiemann, Chen, & Giles (1986).