Robyn Lewis's sons may attend college, but it doesn't mean her involvement in their lives has lessened (ABCnews.go.com, 2005). She creates daily "to do" lists for them, checks their grades and bank accounts online, proofreads their papers, and screens their e-mail. "It's nice to have someone who serves as a secretary mom," says son Brendan. Robyn's response? "I think that's great—a secretary helps keep the boss focused and organized, right?"

In the United States, people have different views of how families should balance autonomy with connection, and these differences often cut along class lines. Middle- and upper-income parents (such as Lewis) are more inclined to view their role as cultivating their children's talents in a highly orchestrated fashion (Lareau, 2003). Organized activities, created and controlled by parents, dominate these children's lives. In extreme form, these children have little or no autonomy, as parents "hover" over all aspects of their lives like helicopters. Technology facilitates such hovering: parents can check up on their kids 24/7 through Facebook, text-messaging, and e-mail.

Lower-income parents, however, tend to view their role as allowing their children to mature without adult interference (Lareau, 2003). These children often have more independence in their leisure activities—they are free to roam their neighborhoods and play with friends, for example—as opposed to participating in arranged "playdates." And when they enter college or the work world, their parents continue to let them develop primarily on their own.

Public elementary and secondary schools in the United States strongly endorse intense connection between parents and children, and they structure their curricula and school-related activities accordingly (Lareau, 2003). But many believe that such intense connectedness does a disservice to children, especially as they mature (Strauss, 2006). For instance, Linda Walter, administrator at Seton Hall University, maintains that "many young adults entering college have the academic skills they need to succeed, but are lacking in self-reliance" (Strauss, 2006).