Printed Page 104

Practicing Responsible Perception

Perception affects every interpersonal encounter

We experience our interpersonal reality—the people around us, our communication with them, and the relationships that result—through the lens of perception. But perception is a product of our own creation, metaphorical clay we can shape in whatever ways we want. At each stage of the perception process we make choices that empower us to mold our perception in constructive or destructive ways. What do I select as the focus of my attention? What attributions do I make? Do I form initial impressions and cling to them in the face of contradictory evidence? Or do I strive to adapt my impressions of others as I learn new information about them? The choices we make at each of these decision points feed directly into how we communicate with and relate to others. When we negatively stereotype people, for example, or refuse to empathize with someone because he or she is an outgrouper, we immediately destine ourselves to incompetent communication.

To improve our interpersonal communication and relationship decisions, we must practice responsible perception. This means routinely perception-checking and correcting errors. It means striving to adjust our impressions of people as we get to know them better. It means seeing those who populate our interpersonal world through eyes of empathy, honoring their cultural perspectives as equal to our own, emotionally reaching out to them, and communicating this perspective-taking and empathic concern in open, appropriate ways. Practicing responsible perception means not just mastering the knowledge of perception presented in these pages, but translating this intellectual mastery into active practice during every interpersonal encounter. We all use perception as the basis for our communication and relationship decisions. But when we practice perception, the natural result is more competent communication and wiser relationship choices.