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Gender and Cooperative Verbal Communication

Powerful stereotypes exist regarding what men and women value in verbal communication. These stereotypes suggest that men appreciate informative, honest, relevant, and clear language more than women do. In Western cultures, many people believe that men communicate in a clear and straightforward fashion and that women are more indirect and wordy (Tannen, 1990). These stereotypes are reinforced powerfully through television, in programs in which female characters often use more polite language than men (“I’m sorry to bother you . . .”), more uncertain phrases (“I suppose . . .”), and more flowery adjectives (“that’s silly,” “oh, how beautiful”), and male characters fill their language with action verbs (“let’s get a move on!”) (Mulac, Bradac, & Mann, 1985).

But research suggests that when it comes to language, men and women are more similar than different. For example, data from 165 studies involving nearly a million and a half subjects found that women do not use more vague and wordy verbal communication than men (Canary & Hause, 1993). The primary determinant of whether people’s language is clear and concise or vague and wordy is not gender but whether the encounter is competitive or collaborative (Fisher, 1983). Both women and men use clear and concise language in competitive interpersonal encounters, such as when arguing with a family member or debating a project proposal in a work meeting. Additionally, they use comparatively vaguer and wordier language during collaborative encounters, such as eating lunch with a friend or relaxing in the evening with a spouse.