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Presenting Self

Think about your interactions with your manager at work. How do you let him or her know—without words—that you’re a dedicated and hardworking employee? Chances are, you employ almost all the nonverbal codes discussed above, simultaneously. You convey attentiveness through focused eye contact and pleasant facial expression, and you communicate seriousness through moderate speech rate and pitch. You likely avoid crowding your boss and touching him or her. You strive to show up at meetings on time if you sense that your manager is M-time oriented. You also dress appropriately for the office and try to obey workplace norms regarding how you decorate your work space.

Now imagine that your manager confides to you a recent diagnosis of terminal illness. How would you use nonverbal communication to convey a different self—one who’s compassionate and supportive? You’d likely adopt a facial expression conveying sadness and concern. You’d slow your speech rate and lower the pitch of your voice to convey empathy. You’d decrease your interpersonal distance to communicate support. And you might touch your boss lightly on the elbow or gently clasp his or her shoulder to signify caring.

As these examples suggest, nonverbal communication can help us present different aspects of our self to others. We all use nonverbal communication codes to create our identities during interpersonal encounters. An important part of being a competent nonverbal communicator is recognizing the need to shift our nonverbal communication quickly to present ourselves in different ways when the situation demands—for example, dedicated employee one moment, concerned fellow human being another.