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Conflict Endings

Learn about short-term and long-term conflict outcomes

It’s one of the most epic action films ever made, so noteworthy, in fact, that it is included in the U.S. Library of Congress National Film Registry. It even features a line so iconic, people who’ve never seen the movie know it: “I’ll be back!” But what is often overlooked is that this line was said to end a conflict. In The Terminator (1984), Arnold Schwarzenegger plays an android programmed to kill Sarah Connor. When he discovers that Sarah is at a police station, he enters, tells the front desk officer that he’s her friend, and demands to see her. But the officer says, “No.” Prevented from attaining his goal, Schwarzenegger leans forward and says, “I’ll be back!” Moments later, he crashes his car through the entrance of the station, and launches a devastating assault.

In the real world, conflicts are rarely resolved as dramatically as killer androids forcing their will by driving cars through police stations. But conflicts do end. Think about the most recent serious conflict you experienced, and consider the way it ended. Did one of you “win” and the other “lose”? Were you both left dissatisfied, or were you each pleased with the resolution? More important, were you able to resolve the underlying issue that triggered the disagreement in the first place, or did you merely create a short-term fix?

Given their emotional intensity and the fact that they typically occur in relationships, conflicts conclude more gradually than many people would like. You may arrive at a short-term resolution leading to the immediate end of the conflict. But afterward, you’ll experience long-term outcomes as you remember, ponder, and possibly regret the incident. These outcomes will influence your relationship health and happiness long into the future.