8.9 POSTSCRIPT

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POSTSCRIPT

POSTSCRIPT

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POSTSCRIPT

This chapter began with a woman determined to dominate her children. Amy Chua made headlines and best-seller lists when she boasted of her dictatorial parenting style. Her book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, describes her dysfunctional approaches to managing conflict and power in painful detail, including taunts, tantrums, insults, and accusations.

What messages did you learn growing up about how conflict and power should best be managed? Did the way in which your parents or caregivers dealt with conflicts leave you feeling better about yourself and your relationship with them? Or did it leave a wake of interpersonal destruction and heartache behind?

Satirical or not, Chua’s book provides a powerful lesson for us all regarding the relationship between choices, communication, and outcomes. When you consistently choose to manage disputes in unyielding, aggressive ways, the relationship outcomes will be as unsatisfying and unpleasant as the conflict itself.