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The Dark Side of Romantic Relationships

Addressing issues related to romance

Think about the Robert Falcon Scott story that began this chapter. His letter to Kathleen reminds us of the high ideals that love can inspire: compassion, caring, generosity, selflessness. But romance has a dark side as well. As scholar Robin Kowalski pointedly puts it, “people in romantic relationships do a lot of mean and nasty things to one another” (Kowalski et al., 2003, p. 472). And when they do, the result is often unparalleled pain and despair. In this section, we explore some of the most troubling issues related to romance—betrayal, jealousy, intrusion, and violence—and discuss communication strategies for addressing them.