reflect3e

9.2.1 Liking and Loving

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Liking and Loving

Most scholars agree that liking and loving are separate emotional states, with different causes and outcomes (Berscheid & Regan, 2005). Liking is a feeling of affection and respect that we typically have for our friends (Rubin, 1973). Affection is a sense of warmth and fondness toward another person, while respect is admiration for another person apart from how he or she treats you and communicates with you. Loving, in contrast, is a vastly deeper and more intense emotional experience and consists of three components: intimacy, caring, and attachment (Rubin, 1973).

Intimacy is a feeling of closeness and “union” between you and your partner (Mashek & Aron, 2004).
Caring is the concern you have for your partner’s welfare and the desire to keep him or her happy.
Attachment is a longing to be in your partner’s presence as much as possible.

The ideal combination for long-term success in romantic relationships occurs when partners both like and love each other.