table 10.3 Five Common Warning Signs of an Abusive Partner
An abusive partner will…

(1) isolate you from others

Examples: restricting your contact with friends and family, showing extreme paranoid jealousy regarding perceived romantic rivals, or telling you lies about friends and family

(2) use power to control you

Examples: insisting they make all decisions about leisure activities, including sex; exploding into anger when you “disobey” them; demanding knowledge of your whereabouts; or displaying violence, such as throwing or breaking objects

(3) frequently threaten you in various ways

Examples: threatening to leave you or hurt themselves if you leave, threatening violence against past lovers or perceived romantic rivals, threatening to lie about you to others or file false charges against you, or threatening violence

(4) use emotionally abusive language

Examples: criticizing your weight, appearance, intelligence, career, or sexual skill; calling you names; swearing at you; or ridiculing your pain when they've hurt you

(5) shift the blame to you

Examples: blaming you for their jealousy, violence, and destructiveness, or tricking you into behaving badly so they can exploit your guilt

Source: Adapted from “Symptoms: Indicators of Abusive Relationships,” An Abuse, Rape, and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection (AARDVARC). Retrieved from www.aardvarc.org/dv/symptoms.shtml.