The Primacy of Family
As with romantic relationships, the day-to-day work of maintaining family bonds isn’t especially glamorous. Birth, adoption, marriage, or remarriage may structure your family, but the quality of your family relationships is defined by whether you invest time and energy in your interpersonal communication. Such efforts don’t have to be complex: a story told to your child or shared with a sibling, gratitude expressed to a parent, an affectionate e-mail sent to a grandparent—all of these simple acts of communication keep your family bonds alive and thriving.
Yet we often neglect to communicate with family members in these ways, in part because such relationships lack the sparkle, excitement, and drama of romances. When we dismiss, look past, or simply take for granted our families, we’re like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz—running away from Auntie Em and the farm, thinking we’ll do just fine on our own.
350
352
But life is not a skip down the yellow brick road. When we battle metaphorical witches in the form of hardship, disappointment, and even tragedy, it’s our family members who often lock arms with us. They’re the ones who help us charge forward, even though we’re afraid or discouraged. The truth about our family relationships stands like the wizard behind the curtain. When you step forward boldly and pull the curtain back, it’s revealed. There is no place like home.
POSTSCRIPT
We began this chapter with a world champion and the family that encouraged her to excel. Throughout her life, Brenda Villa’s parents have been a source of inspiration and motivation. Through their support, honesty, sacrifice, and love, they created the foundation on which Brenda has built the most successful water polo career in U.S. history.
To whom do you turn to listen—or to provide you with a necessary kick in the butt—when you’re feeling sorry for yourself? From whom did you get the confidence and swagger to face the competitions that life presents?
The story of Brenda Villa and her parents reminds us of a simple truth regarding the primacy of family. The successes, victories, and medals we achieve in our lives may be won through our own efforts, but they were made possible by the people who raised us.