Chapter 1. Workplace Self-Disclosure

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Workplace Self-Disclosure

Activity Objective:

In this activity, you will create your own solution to a difficult relationship problem. You will walk step-by-step through a realistic scenario—critically self-reflecting, considering another person’s perspective, determining best outcomes, and identifying potential roadblocks—and make decisions about how to react.

Workplace connections are essential to happiness and success on the job. But they can also be tricky, especially when it comes to disclosing personal information. To understand how you might competently manage such a relationship challenge, read the case study in Part 2; then, drawing on all you know about interpersonal communication, work through the problem-solving model in Part 3.

You and Jonathan are friendly work rivals. Jonathan is very competitive and always tries to outperform you. At the same time, he has been a reliable workplace friend who goes out of his way to assist you. For instance, several times when you got behind on projects, he stepped in to help you out so that you could make your deadlines. You appreciate Jonathan as a colleague but also as a friend whose company you’ve come to enjoy.

Your rivalry with Jonathan heated up last year, when you were both up for the same promotion. Jonathan really wanted it; you ended up getting it. In the aftermath, he congratulated you but was visibly upset for several weeks, and your interactions with him during that period were pretty strained.

One of your new job responsibilities is mentoring new hires, and you are assigned to mentor Lennon. Within a few days, it becomes clear that you and Lennon are romantically attracted to each other. This is a problem because your workplace has strict rules about employee romances, particularly across status lines. At the same time, you’re not technically Lennon’s supervisor, and Lennon will be assigned to a different unit when your mentorship ends.

The two of you start secretly dating. You’re nervous because your supervisor, Sharon, is a stickler about company policies. You two are careful to mask your feelings while you’re at work, but it’s difficult. You’re pretty sure that a few of your colleagues are whispering behind your back. On the other hand, the “forbidden” nature of your affair adds to the passion!

A few days later, you join Jonathan for lunch. He smiles and asks, “So, how long have you been dating Lennon?” When you dodge the question, he says, “Don’t worry, I won’t say a word!” You decide to disclose the truth because you’ve been dying to tell someone and you know you can trust him.

The following Monday, Sharon demands to see you in her office. She tells you that she has determined you have violated company policy regarding romantic relationships, and as a result, she is letting you go. Returning to your office in shock, you cross paths with Jonathan, who takes one look at your face and asks what happened. When you tell him, he gives you a hug and says, “This is terrible! How could this have happened?!”

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Think about all you’ve learned thus far about interpersonal communication. Then work through the following five steps. Remember, there are no “right” answers, so think hard about what is the best choice!

Question

Watch this video in which Jonathan tells his side of the case study story. As in many real-life situations, this is information to which you did not have access when you were initially crafting your response in Part 3. The video reminds us that even when we do our best to offer competent responses, there always is another side to the story that we need to consider.

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Think about the new information offered in Jonathan’s side of the story and all you’ve learned about interpersonal communication. Drawing upon this knowledge, revisit your earlier responses in Part 3 and assess your own interpersonal communication competence.

Question

Step 2: Evaluate Effectiveness

Being an effective interpersonal communicator means using your communication to accomplish self-presentational, instrumental, and relational goals. How effective was your response in dealing with the situation? Rate your effectiveness on a scale of 1 to 7, where “1” is least effective and “7” is most effective.

Step 3: Evaluate Ethics

Being an ethical communicator means treating others with respect, honesty, and kindness. Given this, how ethical was your response to Jonathan? Rate your ethics on a scale of 1 to 7, where “1” is least ethical and “7” is most ethical.

Step 4: What Would You Do Differently?