Chapter 1. Balancing Impressions and Empathy

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Balancing Impressions and Empathy

Activity Objective:

In this activity, you will create your own solution to a difficult relationship problem. You will walk step-by-step through a realistic scenario—critically self-reflecting, considering another person’s perspective, determining best outcomes, and identifying potential roadblocks—and make decisions about how to react.

Forging constructive, collaborative work relationships with people whom we judge to be outgroupers is a challenge, particularly when we’ve formed negative impressions of them and they behave in questionable ways. To understand how you might competently manage such a relationship challenge, read the case study in Part 2; then, drawing on all you know about interpersonal communication, work through the problem-solving model in Part 3.

Your professor assigns a group project that will count for a significant portion of your final course grade. Each group member gets two grades for the project: one for the group presentation and one for individual contribution. The professor selects you as a group leader. Your responsibilities include making sure that each group member gets his or her work done and telling the professor what grade you think each person deserves. The professor will evaluate you in part based on your skill as group leader.

At your first group meeting, everyone is on time except Dylan. He apologizes and says that “something came up.” As everyone introduces themselves, it becomes clear that Dylan’s tardiness isn’t his only difference from you and the others. He’s wearing a shirt emblazoned with extreme political slogans, viewpoints opposed to yours. It quickly becomes clear that his religious beliefs are dissimilar as well. The more you talk with him, the more you dislike him.

Despite your distaste for Dylan, the meeting goes well. The project you all decide on is interesting and provocative. A ton of research needs to be done, but split several ways you might get it done—if everyone does his or her fair share. If even one person fails to follow through, however, it will be a disaster. You exit the meeting excited but anxious.

As the project progresses, Dylan seldom makes it to meetings on time and skips one meeting entirely. At that meeting, two members petition you to remove him from the group, but others argue for keeping him. You decide to give Dylan another chance. A few hours later, Dylan e-mails you an apology, saying he’s been “dealing with family problems.” He offers to do extra research to make amends, and you gladly accept his offer, as you’re stressed about getting the project done.

It’s Thursday afternoon. The group’s in-class presentation is next Tuesday. The plan is to rehearse tomorrow afternoon, then use the weekend to do any final tweaking that needs to be done. Your phone rings, and it’s Dylan. He says, “I am so sorry; my family situation has been holding me back. Can I have more time to finish my research?”

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Think about all you’ve learned thus far about interpersonal communication. Then work through the following five steps. Remember, there are no “right” answers, so think hard about what is the best choice!

Question

Watch this video in which Dylan tells his side of the case study story. As in many real-life situations, this is information to which you did not have access when you were initially crafting your response in Part 3. The video reminds us that even when we do our best to offer competent responses, there always is another side to the story that we need to consider.

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Think about the new information offered in Dylan’s side of the story and all you’ve learned about interpersonal communication. Drawing upon this knowledge, revisit your Part 3 response to Dylan, and assess your own interpersonal communication competence.

Question

Step 2: Evaluate Effectiveness

Being an effective interpersonal communicator means using your communication to accomplish self-presentational, instrumental, and relational goals. How effective was your response in dealing with the situation, helping to improve your relationship with Dylan, and presenting yourself as a good leader? Rate your effectiveness on a scale of 1 to 7, where “1” is least effective and “7” is most effective.

Step 3: Evaluate Ethics

Being an ethical communicator means treating others with respect, honesty, and kindness. Given this, how ethical was your response to Dylan? Rate your ethics on a scale of 1 to 7, where “1” is least ethical and “7” is most ethical.

Step 4: What Would You Do Differently?