Young Woman: I know I'm not your favorite cousin and Thanksgiving was really awkward this year. But there's been a lot going on between my parents and me-- not that anyone in our family talks about it. So I guess I'll be the first. A couple of years ago, I finally convinced my parents to let me see a therapist. You know how our family is about anything health-related, let alone mental health.
It took only a couple sessions to figure out what's been going on with me my entire life. I'm bipolar one. This diagnosis made everything clear-- my intense, manic episodes, my horrible depression. It changed my life. My parents are still in denial. They don't want to have a daughter with a mental illness.
Yeah, they boast about how I overcame addiction, but they won't even talk to me about the real problem. From their point of view, my cycles of depression are just me being unhappy. So they buy me stuff to make me happy, like they always have. What they don't know, and I've never told anyone, is that the accident that happened with my car wasn't an accident.
I just felt myself spiral into this black hole, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I drove as fast as I could, closed my eyes, let go of the wheel. At the time, I didn't feel scared at all. I just felt this incredible sense of peacefulness that came down and surrounded me, and then I left off the road at 100 miles an hour.
Of course, being the idiot that I am, I couldn't even do that right and ended up surviving. I'm in a much better place now. I'm on meds for my depression. And that helps, although it numbs me out. I know I shouldn't be using Vicodin and I'm sorry that I teased you about it. But it's about the only thing that helps me out when my thoughts start racing out of control.
I will probably get back to rehab again, and my parents will kill me. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know this because I know what you've been through and I look up to you for how you've handled it. It was an absolute joke what my parents said about you looking up to me. You're the strong one and I'm the joke.