NOTE: Partly as a result of this letter and his internship, Around Him received a full scholarship to Dartmouth College.
After a class discussion and assignment on the unfairness of federal financial aid regulations, student John Around Him wrote the following letter to Senator John Kerry. Senator Kerry not only responded to the letter, promising to work to change the federal financial aid system, but he also visited Around Him’s college class. Because of this contact, John Around Him was hired to work as a policy intern in Kerry’s Massachusetts office.
(See “Critical Reading” in Chapter 1)
GUIDING QUESTION
Why does the author think the financial aid system is not fair to many students?
VOCABULARY
The following words are italicized in the letter: chaos, eligibility, and criteria. If you do not know their meanings, look them up in a dictionary or online.
Dear Senator Kerry:
PAUSE: How does Around Him appeal to his audience here?
1
My name is John Around Him, and I am a student at Bunker Hill Community College in Boston, Massachusetts. I am Native American and a veteran of the war in Iraq. I know that you, as a veteran of the Vietnam War, can relate to putting your life on the line in an environment of gunfire, explosions, chaos, and confusion, wondering if the next second might be your last. For most young people, being in the middle of a dangerous war — being shot at and surrounded by death and violence — is not an appealing way to earn money for college. However, for students like me who do not qualify for federal financial aid, it may be the only way to go to college, and this is why I am writing to you. The federal financial aid system needs to be changed because it is not effective in helping students, especially low-
PAUSE: Note that Around Him uses narration in this paragraph.
2
I grew up on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota and graduated from Little Wound High School in 2001. I was an average student, with a grade-
3
When I turned to the federal financial aid system, I found that there is money to help some students pay for college, but none for a student like me. According to the College Board’s report, “Trends in College Pricing, 2006,” the average tuition, room, and board costs for public universities is $12,796 (though many are much more, as is the case here in Massachusetts) — way out of line for my family’s finances. Yet according to the financial aid formula, my father made too much money.
PAUSE: Summarize what Around Him says about the criteria for eligibility. What kind of evidence does he use in this paragraph?
4
The formulas used to determine a student’s financial need are not realistic: They do not represent the average student’s situation. For example, according to the formula, to be considered independent (which largely determines eligibility) a student must meet one of the following criteria: He or she must be either twenty-
5
I am not saying that students should not enlist in the military. Would I have signed on if I had received financial aid? I don’t know. I support our troops and enjoyed my time in the service. The military’s values and discipline and my experiences there have contributed to who I am today, and I am thankful for that. However, I don’t believe that students should have to risk their lives to qualify for financial aid.
PAUSE: Why is this conclusion effective?
6
I am writing to you not only on my own behalf but for the well-
Sincerely yours,
John Around Him