Many teenagers today do not date in the traditional sense — one boy and one girl going on dates or “going steady.” Instead, they go out in groups rather than as couples. This new pattern gives many parents a sense that their sons and daughters are safe from premature sex and sexually transmitted diseases.

Question

Although teenagers do not pair off romantically, they are getting plenty of sex, just not with people they care about. They care about their friends and do not want to risk ruining friendships, so they “hook up” with strangers they meet while out at night or online. “Hooking up” means having sex with someone, and many teens hook up only with people they have no other contact with, preferably from different schools or towns.

Question

Although teenagers often think that sex without emotional involvement will avoid heartbreak and breakups, many teens, both girls and boys, admit that it is difficult not to develop feelings for someone they are physically intimate with. If one person begins to feel an attachment while the other does not, a distancing occurs: That hurts. It is a breakup of a different sort.

Question

Teenagers have always experimented with ways to do things differently than their parents did. Trying new ways to do things is an important stage in teenagers’ development. Experimentation is normal and sometimes produces better ways of doing things. According to most teens, however, the “hook-up” is not the answer to heartbreak: It is just another road to it. Perhaps teenagers are destined to experience some pain as they try out what “love” means.