rules8e_ch02

EXERCISE 2–1 Conducting a peer review

EXERCISE 2–1Conducting a peer review

In each pair, click on the response from a peer reviewer that is more likely to help the writer revise his or her draft.

Click Submit after each question to see feedback and to record your answer. After you have finished every question, your answers will be submitted to your instructor’s gradebook. You may review your answers by returning to the exercise at any time. (An exercise reports to the gradebook only if your instructor has assigned it.)

Example

1 of 5

Question

Here are two reviewer comments on a student’s first draft of an essay about the voyage of the Titanic. Which comment is more appropriate and helpful at the draft stage of the writing process?

I didn’t understand where you were headed with this essay until the middle of the second page. Why not move your thesis up to the first paragraph? By cutting the background stuff about the formation of icebergs, you could get to the point faster.

You need a transition between the information about iceberg formation and your thesis in the middle of the second page. Also, I noticed that you misspelled separate and truly. Did you forget to run your spell checker?

EXERCISE 2–1 Conducting a peer review - 1 of 5: Here are two reviewer comments on a student’s first draft of an essay about the voyage of the Titanic. Which comment is more appropriate and helpful at the draft stage of the writing process?

2 of 5

Question

A student revised her first draft to include more examples. Which peer response to her second draft would better help her write the final draft?

This essay is great! I really liked it a lot, especially the examples.

The new examples really help me see your point. You might want to work on the example about elephants’ emotions, though. I didn’t see what it had to do with your thesis. Can you make the connection clearer?

EXERCISE 2–1 Conducting a peer review - 2 of 5: A student revised her first draft to include more examples. Which peer response to her second draft would better help her write the final draft?

3 of 5

Question

A student asked for input on a first draft of her essay arguing against the teaching of creationism in schools. Which response would help her strengthen her argument?

You seem to be saying that the theory of evolution is right and creationism is wrong, but I saw a show on television last week that said evolution is just a theory, the same as creationism. You should reconsider your thesis.

I think you need to spend more time explaining the concept of creationism. What do creationists believe, and how do their beliefs differ from those of evolutionists? I need to know that before I can figure out if you’ve made a good case for your argument.

EXERCISE 2–1 Conducting a peer review - 3 of 5: A student asked for input on a first draft of her essay arguing against the teaching of creationism in schools. Which response would help her strengthen her argument?

4 of 5

Question

Here are peer responses to a student’s first draft of a research paper on efforts to slow the spread of AIDS in the United States. Which response would be more likely to help the student write a compelling second draft?

You’re giving us so much information about the origins of AIDS in Africa that you don’t have space to go into detail about your real topic: ways to slow down the spread of AIDS in the United States. I want to hear more about community programs that have shown some signs of success.

I think your paper is very interesting. Before reading it, I didn’t know anything about the origins of AIDS in Africa.

EXERCISE 2–1 Conducting a peer review - 4 of 5: Here are peer responses to a student’s first draft of a research paper on efforts to slow the spread of AIDS in the United States. Which response would be more likely to help the student write a compelling second draft?

5 of 5

Question

A student asked his peer reviewers to pay special attention to the flow of his first draft of a paper based on an interview with a Chesapeake Bay waterman. Which reviewer response would be more helpful to the writer?

You might try beginning each paragraph with a transition word such as Moreover or In addition. That’s a trick I sometimes use.

I really like the colorful quotes, but you need to add some words like I asked and he replied so readers can follow the conversation. Also, your tenses seem to jump around a lot (pulls up the pots . . . rebaited them, for example). Think about whether you want to tell the waterman’s story in the past tense or the present tense. I’m not sure it works to shift back and forth.

EXERCISE 2–1 Conducting a peer review - 5 of 5: A student asked his peer reviewers to pay special attention to the flow of his first draft of a paper based on an interview with a Chesapeake Bay waterman. Which reviewer response would be more helpful to the writer?