10.4 Adulthood: Change We Can’t Believe In

Adulthood is the stage of development that begins around 18 to 21 years and ends at death. Because physical change slows from a gallop to a crawl, many of us think of adulthood as the destination to which the process of development finally delivers us, and that once we’ve arrived, our journey is pretty much complete. Nothing could be further from the truth. A whole host of physical, cognitive, and emotional changes take place between our first legal beer and our last legal breath.

adulthood

The stage of development that begins around 18 to 21 years and ends at death.

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Changing Abilities

The early 20s are the peak years for health, stamina, vigor, and prowess, and because our psychology is so closely tied to our biology, these are also the years during which most cognitive abilities are sharpest. At this very moment, you probably see farther, hear better, and remember more accurately than you ever will again. Enjoy it. Somewhere between the ages of 26 and 30, you will begin the slow and steady decline that will not end until you do. Just 10 or 15 years after puberty, your body will begin to break down in almost every way. Your muscles will be replaced by fat, your skin will become less elastic, your hair will thin and your bones will weaken, your sensory abilities will become less acute, and your brain cells will die at an accelerated rate. Eventually, if you are a woman, your ovaries will stop producing eggs, and you will become infertile. Eventually, if you are a man, your erections will be softer and fewer and farther between. Indeed, other than being more resistant to colds and less sensitive to pain, your elderly body just won’t work as well as your youthful body does.

But don’t worry, the news gets worse. Because as these physical changes accumulate, they will begin to have measurable psychological consequences (Salthouse, 2006; see FIGURE 10.12). For instance, as you age, your prefrontal cortex will deteriorate more quickly than the other areas of your brain (Raz, 2000), and you will experience a noticeable decline on cognitive tasks that require effort, initiative, or strategy. Although your memory will worsen in general, you will experience more decline in working memory (the ability to hold information “in mind”) than in long-term memory (the ability to retrieve information), and more decline in episodic memory (the ability to remember particular past events) than in semantic memory (the ability to remember general information such as the meanings of words).

Figure 10.12: FIGURE 10.12 Cognitive Decline After the age of 20, people show dramatic declines on some measures of cognitive performance but not others (Salthouse, 2006). For example, the ability to recall past events (episodic memory) declines as we age, but the ability to recall the meanings of words (semantic memory) does not. (Data from Salthouse, 2006.)

What physical and psychological changes are associated with adulthood?

DATA VISUALIZATION

Cognitive Decline with Age

www.macmillanhighered.com/launchpad/schacterbrief3e

But not all the news is bad. Even though your cognitive machinery will get rustier, research suggests that you will partially compensate by using it much more skillfully (Bäckman & Dixon, 1992; Salthouse, 1987). Older chess players remember chess positions much more poorly than younger players do, but they play just as well because they learn to search the board more efficiently (Charness, 1981). Older typists react more slowly than younger typists do, but they type just as quickly and accurately because they are better at anticipating the next word in spoken or written text (Salthouse, 1984). All of this suggests that older adults are using the skills they developed over a lifetime to compensate for the age-related declines they experience in memory and attention (Park & McDonough, 2013).

How do adults compensate for their declining abilities?

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One week before his 58th birthday, US Airways pilot Chesley Sullenberger made a perfect emergency landing in the Hudson River and saved the lives of everyone on board. None of the passengers wished they’d had a younger pilot.
AP Photo/Noah Berger AP Photo/Steven Day

Even the brain changes the way it does business. As you know from the Neuroscience and Behavior chapter, brains are differentiated—that is, they have different parts that do different things. But as they age, brains become de-differentiated (Lindenberger & Baltes, 1994), and parts that once worked like independent specialists start to pull together as a team (Park & McDonough, 2013). For example, when young adults try to keep verbal information in working memory, the left prefrontal cortex is more strongly activated than the right, and when they try to keep spatial information in working memory, the right prefrontal cortex is more strongly activated than the left (Smith & Jonides, 1997). But this bilateral asymmetry pretty much disappears in older adults, which suggests that the older brain is compensating for the declining abilities of one half by calling on the other half to help out (Cabeza, 2002; see FIGURE 10.13). The physical machinery breaks down as time passes, and one of the ways in which the brain rises to that challenge is by changing its division of labor.

Figure 10.13: FIGURE 10.13 Information Processing in Older and Younger Brains Across a variety of tasks, young adult brains show bilateral asymmetry and older adult brains do not. One explanation for this is that older brains compensate for the declining abilities of one neural structure by calling on other neural structures for help (Cabeza, 2002).
Roberto Cabeza, 1997 Center for Cognitive Neuroscience, Duke University; Madden, Gottlob, et.al (1999)

Changing Goals

So one reason why Grandpa can’t find his car keys is that his prefrontal cortex doesn’t work as well as it used to. But another reason is that the location of car keys just isn’t the sort of thing that grandpas spend their precious time memorizing (Haase, Heckhausen, & Wrosch, 2013). According to socioemotional selectivity theory (Carstensen & Turk-Charles, 1994), younger adults are largely oriented toward the acquisition of information that will be useful to them in the future (e.g., reading reviews of new technology), whereas older adults are generally oriented toward information that brings emotional satisfaction in the present (e.g., reading poems and novels). Because young people have such long futures, they invest their time attending to, thinking about, and remembering information that they may want to use tomorrow. Because older people have much shorter futures, they spend their time attending to, thinking about, and remembering positive information that they can enjoy today.

How do informational goals change in adulthood?

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Getting old isn’t as bad as people think, and it even holds a few nice surprises. For example, one study of women aged 40 to 100 showed that the oldest women were nearly twice as likely as the youngest ones to report being “very satisfied” with their sex lives (Trompeter, Bettencourt, & Barrett-Connor, 2012).
Lucy Nicholson/Reuters/Newscom
As people age, they prefer to spend time with family and a few close friends rather than with large circles of acquaintances.
Courtesy of Daniel Gilbert

That’s one of the reasons why older people are much worse than younger people when they try to remember a series of unpleasant faces (see FIGURE 10.14), but only slightly worse when they try to remember a series of pleasant faces (Mather &Carstensen, 2003). Indeed, compared to younger adults, older adults are generally better at sustaining positive emotions and curtailing negative ones (Isaacowitz, 2012; Isaacowitz & Blanchard-Fields, 2012; Lawton et al., 1992; Mather & Carstensen, 2005). They also experience fewer negative emotions (Carstensen et al., 2000; Charles, Reynolds, & Gatz, 2001; Mroczek & Spiro, 2005; Schilling, Wahl, & Wiegering, 2013), and are more accepting of them when they do (Shallcross et al., 2013). Given all this, you shouldn’t be surprised to learn that late adulthood is consistently reported to be one of the happiest and most satisfying periods of life (see FIGURE 10.15). You shouldn’t be surprised, but you probably are because young adults vastly overestimate the problems of aging (Pew Research Center for People & the Press, 2009).

Figure 10.14: FIGURE 10.14 Memory for Pictures Memory generally declines with age, but the ability to remember negative information—such as unpleasant pictures—declines much more quickly than the ability to remember positive information. (Data from Carstensen et al., 2000.)
Figure 10.15: FIGURE 10.15 Emotions and Age Older adults experience much lower levels of stress, worry, and anger than younger adults do. (Data from Walker, 1977.)
Courtesy of Daniel Gilbert

Is late adulthood a happy or unhappy time for most people?

Because having a short future orients people toward emotionally satisfying rather than intellectually profitable experiences, older adults become more selective about their interaction partners, choosing to spend time with family and a few close friends rather than with a large circle of acquaintances. One study monitored a group of people from the 1930s to the 1990s and found that the rate of interaction with acquaintances declined from early to middle adulthood, but the rate of interaction with spouses, parents, and siblings remained stable or increased (Carstensen, 1992). “Let’s go meet some new people” isn’t something that most 60-year-olds tend to say, but “Let’s go hang out with some old friends” is. It is sad but instructive to note that many of the cognitive and emotional changes that characterize older adults are also observed among younger adults whose futures have been shortened by terminal illness (Carstensen & Fredrickson, 1998).

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Changing Roles

The psychological separation from parents that begins in adolescence usually becomes a physical separation in adulthood. In virtually all human societies, young adults leave home, get married, and have children of their own. The average college-age American is likely to get married at around the age of 27, have approximately 1.8 children, and consider both partner and children to be sources of great joy.

Does marriage make people happy or do happy people tend to get married?
Courtesy of Daniel Gilbert

But do marriage and children really make us happy? Research shows that married people live longer, have more frequent sex (and enjoy that sex more), and earn several times as much money as unmarried people do (Waite, 1995). Given these differences, it is no surprise that married people report being happier than unmarried people—whether those unmarried people are single, widowed, divorced, or cohabiting (Johnson & Wu, 2002). That’s why many researchers consider marriage one of the best investments individuals can make in their own happiness. But other researchers suggest that married people may be happier because happy people may be more likely to get married and that marriage may be the consequence—and not the cause—of happiness (Lucas et al., 2003). The general consensus among scientists seems to be that both of these positions have merit: Even before marriage, people who end up married tend to be happier than those who never marry, but marriage does seem to confer further benefits.

What does research say about marriage, children, and happiness?

Children are another story. In general, research suggests that children do not increase their parents’ happiness, and may even decrease it (DiTella, MacCulloch, & Oswald, 2003; Simon, 2008; Senior, 2014). For example, parents typically report lower marital satisfaction than do nonparents—and the more children they have, the less satisfaction they report (Twenge, Campbell, & Foster, 2003). Studies suggest that marital satisfaction starts out high, dips down at about the time that the children are in diapers, begins to recover, dips again when the children are in adolescence, and returns to its premarital levels only when children leave home (see FIGURE 10.16). Given that mothers typically do more child care than fathers, it is little wonder that the negative impact of parenthood is stronger for women than for men. Women with young children are especially likely to experience role conflicts (“How am I supposed to manage being a full-time lawyer and a full-time mother?”) and restrictions of freedom (“I never get to play tennis anymore”). One study found that American women were less happy when taking care of their children than when eating, exercising, shopping, napping, or watching television—and only slightly happier than when they were doing housework (Kahneman et al., 2004).

Figure 10.16: FIGURE 10.16 Marital Satisfaction over the Life Span Four independent studies of marital satisfaction among men and women all suggest that marital satisfaction is highest before children are born and after they leave home (Walker, 1977).

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Other Voices: You Are Going to Die

You Are Going to Die

Human development begins at conception and ends at death. Most of us would rather think about the conception part. Getting old seems scary and depressing, and one of the reasons why we send elderly people to retirement homes is so we don’t have to watch as they wrinkle and wither and die. The essayist Tim Kreider (2013) thinks this is a terrible loss—not for older people, but for younger ones.

Tim Kreider is an essayist and cartoonist whose newest book is We Learn Nothing.
Tim Kreider/Einstein Thompson Agency, NY, NY

My sister and I recently toured the retirement community where my mother has announced she’ll be moving. I have been in some bleak clinical facilities for the elderly where not one person was compos mentis and I had to politely suppress the urge to flee, but this was nothing like that. It was a very cushy modern complex housed in what used to be a seminary, with individual condominiums with big kitchens and sun rooms, equipped with fancy restaurants, grills and snack bars, a fitness center, a concert hall, a library, an art room, a couple of beauty salons, a bank and an ornate chapel of Italian marble. You could walk from any building in the complex to another without ever going outside, through underground corridors and glass-enclosed walkways through the woods. Mom described it as “like a college dorm, except the boys aren’t as good-looking.” Nonetheless I spent much of my day trying not to cry.

At all times of major life crisis, friends and family will crowd around and press upon you the false emotions appropriate to the occasion. “That’s so great!” everyone said of my mother’s decision to move to an assisted-living facility. “It’s really impressive that she decided to do that herself.” They cited their own stories of 90-year-old parents grimly clinging to drafty dilapidated houses, refusing to move until forced out by strokes or broken hips. “You should be really relieved and grateful.” “She’ll be much happier there.” The overbearing unanimity of this chorus suggests to me that its real purpose is less to reassure than to suppress, to deny the most obvious and natural emotion that attends this occasion, which is sadness.

My sadness is purely selfish, I know. My friends are right; this was all Mom’s idea, she’s looking forward to it, and she really will be happier there. But it also means losing the farm my father bought in 1976, where my sister and I grew up, where Dad died in 1991. We’re losing our old phone number, the one we’ve had since the Ford administration, a number I know as well as my own middle name. However infrequently I go there, it is the place on earth that feels like home to me, the place I’ll always have to go back to in case adulthood falls through. I hadn’t realized, until I was forcibly divested of it, that I’d been harboring the idea that someday, when this whole crazy adventure was over, I would at some point be nine again, sitting around the dinner table with Mom and Dad and my sister. And beneath it all, even at age 45, there is the irrational, little-kid fear: Who’s going to take care of me? I remember my mother telling me that when her own mother died, when Mom was in her 40s, her first thought was: I’m an orphan.

Plenty of people before me have lamented the way that we in industrialized countries regard our elderly as unproductive workers or obsolete products, and lock them away in institutions instead of taking them into our own homes out of devotion and duty. Most of these critiques are directed at the indifference and cruelty thus displayed to the elderly; what I wonder about is what it’s doing to the rest of us.

Segregating the old and the sick enables a fantasy, as baseless as the fantasy of capitalism’s endless expansion, of youth and health as eternal, in which old age can seem to be an inexplicably bad lifestyle choice, like eating junk food or buying a minivan, that you can avoid if you’re well-educated or hip enough. So that when through absolutely no fault of your own your eyesight begins to blur and you can no longer eat whatever you want without consequence and the hangovers start lasting for days, you feel somehow ripped off, lied to. Aging feels grotesquely unfair. As if there ought to be someone to sue.

We don’t see old or infirm people much in movies or on TV. We love explosive gory death onscreen, but we’re not so enamored of the creeping, gray, incontinent kind. Aging and death are embarrassing medical conditions, like hemorrhoids or eczema, best kept out of sight. Survivors of serious illness or injuries have written that, once they were sick or disabled, they found themselves confined to a different world, a world of sick people, invisible to the rest of us. Denis Johnson writes in his novel Jesus’ Son: “You and I don’t know about these diseases until we get them, in which case we also will be put out of sight.”

My own father died at home, in what was once my childhood bedroom. He was, in this respect at least, a lucky man. Almost everyone dies in a hospital now, even though absolutely nobody wants to, because by the time we’re dying all the decisions have been taken out of our hands by the well, and the well are without mercy. Of course we hospitalize the sick and the old for some good reasons (better care, pain relief), but I think we also segregate the elderly from the rest of society because we’re afraid of them, as if age might be contagious. Which, it turns out, it is.

… You are older at this moment than you’ve ever been before, and it’s the youngest you’re ever going to get. The mortality rate is holding at a scandalous 100 percent. Pretending death can be indefinitely evaded with hot yoga or a gluten-free diet or antioxidants or just by refusing to look is craven denial. “Facing it, always facing it, that’s the way to get through,” Conrad wrote in Typhoon. “Face it.” He was talking about more than storms. The sheltered prince Siddartha Gautama was supposedly set on the path to becoming the Buddha when he was out riding and happened to see an old man, a sick man and a dead man. Today he’d be spared the discomfiture, and the enlightenment, unless he were riding mass transit.

Just yesterday my mother sent me a poem she first read in college—Langston Hughes’s “Mother to Son.” She said she could still remember where she was, in her dorm room at Goshen College, when she came across it in her American Lit book. The title notwithstanding, it does not make for Hallmark-card copy. Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. It tells us that this life is not a story or an adventure or a journey of spiritual self-discovery; it’s a slog. And it orders us to keep going, don’t you dare give up, no matter what. Because I’m your mother, that’s why.

Do you agree with Kreider: Do we do a disservice to the young when we segregate the old?

From the New York Times, January 20, 2013. © 2013 The New York Times. All rights reserved. Used by permission and protected by the Copyright Laws of the United States. The printing, copying, redistribution, or retransmission of this Content without express written permission is prohibited. http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/20/you-are-going-to-die/

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Does all of this mean that people would be happier if they didn’t have children? Not necessarily. Because researchers cannot randomly assign people to be parents or nonparents, studies of the effects of parenthood are necessarily correlational. People who want children and have children may be somewhat less happy than people who neither want them nor have them, but it is possible that people who want children would be even less happy if they didn’t have them. What does seem clear is that raising children is a challenging job that people find most rewarding when they’re not in the middle of doing it.

SUMMARY QUIZ [10.4]

Question 10.11

1. The peak years for health, stamina, vigor, and prowess are
  1. childhood.
  2. the early teens.
  3. the early 20s.
  4. the early 30s.

c.

Question 10.12

2. Data suggest that, for most people, the last decades of life are
  1. characterized by an increase in negative emotions.
  2. spent attending to the most useful information.
  3. extremely satisfying.
  4. a time during which they begin to interact with a much wider circle of people.

c.

Question 10.13

3. Which is true of marital satisfaction over the life span?
  1. It increases steadily.
  2. It decreases steadily.
  3. It is remarkably stable.
  4. It shows peaks and valleys, corresponding to the presence and ages of children.

d.