Printed Page 594

Whether joyous or solemn, lighthearted or serious, your demeanor and words should match the overall mood of the special occasion for which you’re giving a speech. As the saying goes, there’s a time and a place for everything: a time to tell funny stories, a time to show respect, and a time to share your own sadness. By ensuring that what you say and how you say it are appropriate for the occasion, you will enhance your effectiveness and impact.

For example, a eulogy calls primarily for a somber, sad tone, though an occasional lovingly humorous recollection about the deceased may also be appropriate and appreciated. At the graveside service for your grandmother, for instance, family members and friends might smile through their tears and nod their heads knowingly when you help them recall her famous midnight excursions into the kitchen for chocolate ice cream.

If you’re the best man at your older brother’s wedding and you’re giving a toast at the reception, you’ll of course evoke a different overall mood. You’ll want to express your happiness that your brother has found a loving spouse as well as give voice to everyone’s wish that the new couple will share a long and joyous life together. Depending on the traditions of your culture, you might also introduce a bit of humor by hinting at the wild escapades your brother had in his younger years and expressing your satisfaction that he’s finally settling down with a wonderful partner. You decidedly would not go on and on about any hard or painful times the couple experienced while dating. Nor would you be in any way critical of their relationship.