Chapter 201: Appendix A: Speech Choices Speeches

Why Student Athletes Should Be Paid: Speech Outline

As you have progressed through the chapters in Speak Up, you also have followed the story of Jacob and his persuasive speech assignment. Unfortunately, Jacob did not invest as much time as Mia did in preparing his speech, and he did not make as much of an effort as she did to follow the instructor’s directions or the advice provided in class and in the textbook. As a result, Jacob did not follow an outline format, which made the structure of his presentation hard to determine. The limited research that he did was not properly cited or quoted in the speech, care was not taken in selecting supporting materials, and his message was not tailored to his audience.

INTRODUCTION •

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• Specific purpose not included

• No source cited for statistics

• Parts of the introduction should be labeled I, II, III, IV, and V.

My favorite college basketball team is the Kentucky Wildcats, and when they won the national championship game sixty-seven to fifty-nine over Kansas in 2012, their star player Anthony Davis filled up the stats sheet with six points, sixteen rebounds, five assists, six blocked shots, and three steals. Nobody had done that in any college game since Minnesota’s Joel Prizybilla in 2000. • The only bad thing about that is that after just one year in college, Anthony Davis left school to turn pro, signing a multimillion-dollar contract with the New Orleans Hornets. If only he could have been paid to continue playing college ball! This shows why we need to pay college athletes in revenue-producing sports—because they are the men who make the big bucks and receive so little in return. •

• The list of sources is insufficient. Sources must be cited where used in speech.

• No preview of main points

I am credible on this topic because I know a lot about sports. I played baseball in high school, and I interviewed my roommate, who used to play football for our school. I watched Last Week with John Oliver and read a Forbes online article by a commentator on sports legal issues and did some more research. • And I know you guys agree with me because look at how many people go to football, basketball, and baseball games at our school. •

• Transitions should be word-for-word, and main points should be a single sentence.

[TRANSITION] •

• Research for these facts is not cited, and quotation marks are not used for directly quoted material.

I don’t think there is any doubt that players in revenue-producing sports give up a lot to play their sports. According to my research: •

The typical Division I college football player devotes 43.3 hours per week to his sport—3.3 more hours than the typical American work-week.
Although the NCAA claims that college athletes are just students, the NCAA’s own tournament schedules require college athletes to miss classes for nationally televised games that bring in revenue.

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Currently, the NCAA Division I football championship is played on a Monday night. This year, the national football championship game required Florida State football players to miss the first day of spring classes.

• The speech structure should be in alphanumeric format, not bullet points.

• No title for this main point, nor is it labeled “II”
Meanwhile, the annual NCAA men’s basketball tournament affects more than six days of classes (truly “Madness” if the players aren’t “employees”). •

[TRANSITION Who gets rich off college sports? Not the guys who make it happen on the field.] •
The NCAA currently produces nearly $11 billion in annual revenue from college sports—more than the estimated total league revenues of both the National Basketball Association and the National Hockey League.

• Source not cited for these facts and statistics
This year, the University of Alabama reported $143.3 million in athletic revenues—more than all thirty NHL teams and twenty-five of the thirty NBA teams. •
The year that Boston College quarterback Doug Flutie won the Heisman Trophy as the nation’s outstanding college football player, Boston College’s undergraduate admissions increased by twenty-five points, and its average SAT score of admitted freshmen skyrocketed by 110 points.
Of course, there are many colleges that use their athletes as core marketers of the university. If not for college basketball players, think about how much more money Gonzaga University would need to spend on building name recognition to prospective students not located on the West Coast.

• Interview research should be directly quoted in the outline.

This is my roommate’s point, too—the one who played football for our school. (Talk about what my roommate said) •

• The lack of outline format makes it unclear which ideas are main points or subpoints.

Here’s another problem: •

At other schools, college coaches regulate student-athlete speech on Facebook and Twitter—even when their sport is not in session.

• The social media point is not subordinate to the thesis.

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This is America, and the last time that I checked, we have freedom of speech. Americans fought and died for freedom of speech. It just isn’t right to tell athletes what they can and cannot say on social media. • It is none of the school’s business. Nobody tells students on an art scholarship or a band scholarship or a math scholarship what they can and cannot say on Facebook. This is discrimination, and it isn’t right.

• Frequent references to “guys” and “men” disrespects female athletes and other women in the audience.

• The speech needs a full transition to the next main point.

So the question is, “What are we going to do about it?” I’ll tell you what we need to do about it. These guys are being treated unfairly. They sacrifice everything for the game, and they get little to nothing in return. • Revenue-producing sports should not be propping up the rest of the athletic department. The football team averages 29,517 fans, men’s basketball gets 11,583, and baseball draws 5,973. How do our untraditional sports draw? Not even half that many. I’m not trying to be rude or offend anyone, but let’s face it: not every sport is exciting. Players who are bringing in the fans are the ones who deserve to be paid for their hard work. •

• The research source is not fully cited.

• No transition to conclusion

My solution. Players in the revenue-producing sports should be paid a salary of $35,310. I got this amount because it is three times the federal poverty level, according to healthcare.gov. • And their tuition should be free. I’m not saying that college players need to be millionaires. I am saying that this would be a reasonable amount of money to live off of while you are in school. And I am saying when you are working a full-time job for your college, you deserve to get paid full-time wages. •

• No clear summary of main points

• The clincher does not provide a memorable end to the speech.

So I’ll tell you what I am trying to say. Right now, players in revenue-producing sports are making a lot of money for their schools. They are working a full-time job, and their colleges are getting rich off of them. • The conclusion is obvious. Student athletes need to be paid a salary. That’s what I have to say. •

A-18

Bibliography •

• Reference format inconsistent, no style manual followed

Marc Edelman (Jan. 30, 2014). 21 Reasons Why Student Athletes are Employees and should be allowed to Unionize, Forbes.com

Last Week with John Oliver, 2015

Interview with my roommate Rick

• Citations are incomplete.

healthcare.gov •

“UK’s Anthony Davis Leaves his mark, espn.com

• This source was not used in the speech and should not be in the works cited.

@MarkKobaCNBC, What a College Athlete is Worth on the open Market, 12 Apr 2014 •