EXERCISE 6.3
Identifying and Revising Thesis Statements That Focus on Several Points
The following thesis statements focus on more than one central point. Revise them so that each focuses clearly on only one point.
1. In order to be more successful in college, students must learn time management strategies, curtail their social life during the week, and learn to balance work and school obligations so that they are able to enjoy all parts of their life.
2. The Internet has revolutionized the way friends communicate, but it has also made children more sedentary, which has had negative health effects, and it has also made people in the workforce more solitary, which has undermined teamwork.
3. Movie theaters continue to attract viewers to new releases although many of them are simply remakes of older movies and ones that appeal only to those who like graphic violence.
4. Although the tornado destroyed the entire town and seriously injured hundreds of people, the local townspeople grew closer as they tended to the injured, helped to rebuild houses, and shared their financial resources with one another.
5. Although the company has made strides in repairing its reputation in the community, it still needs to pay its employees a fair salary, restructure management, and conduct business with more reputable vendors.