Chapter 10, Additional Case 2: Revising Passive Sentences

Chapter 10, Additional Case 2: Revising Passive Sentences

This case is best for groups.

Background

You and the other members of your group are technical communicators working for Science Applications International Corporation. One of your company's clients is the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, which you assist in preparing annual reports on occupational radiation exposure at commercial nuclear power reactors and other facilities. Your supervisor, Andrea Weaver, has come to you with a problem.

"I'm looking at the 2004 report. The preface sounds really awkward," she says. "The information is clear and accurate, but it doesn't seem to flow. Would you mind taking a look at it and seeing if you can figure out what the problem is?" After studying the preface, you conclude that the awkwardness is caused by the heavy use of the passive voice. Working with your team members, you decide to figure out why the passive voice is used so much, whether its use is justified, and what (if anything) you should recommend doing about the use of passive voice for the next report.

In this case, you will study the preface, draw conclusions about its use of the passive voice, and offer a recommendation to your supervisor. You will present your findings to her in a memo.

Your Assignment

To complete this case, perform the following tasks:

  1. Study Chapter 10 on sentence effectiveness, concentrating on the discussion of active and passive voice. Pay particular attention to the explanation of those situations in which the passive voice is preferable to the active voice.
  2. Study the preface of the 2004 report. Identify each use of the passive voice. Determine whether the use is justified. Can you devise a principle for the use of passive voice in this preface—especially in the numbered list—that will help future writers present similar information clearly and gracefully and that will help readers focus on the most-important information?
  3. Write a 1,000-word memo addressed to your supervisor that contains your findings. (See Chapter 14 for a discussion of memos.)