Chapter 9, Additional Case 2: Writing Guidelines About Coherence

Chapter 9, Additional Case 2: Writing Guidelines About Coherence

Background

You are a public-information officer recently hired by the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ). One of your responsibilities is to make sure that your agency’s public information on the web is clear and accurate. Your supervisor, Paloma Martinez, has asked you to write a set of guidelines for physicians and other researchers who write the articles you put on your site. You ask her why she thinks they need guidelines. “Their writing is factually correct,” Paloma replies, “but because they are taking excerpts from longer, more scientific studies, their documents can be choppy. They need to be smoothed out.”

“Do you have examples, both good and bad?” you ask. Paloma directs you to two AHRQ “Focus on Research” fact sheets highlighting AHRQ research projects and findings. “This is a good sample of how to write to the general reader,” she tells you, pointing at the HIV disease fact sheet (Document 9.1). “This other one just doesn’t seem to flow smoothly.” (See Document 9.2.)

Your Assignment

  1. Study the two fact sheets, noting the different techniques the writer used to achieve coherence in Document 9.1 and the areas that could be improved in Document 9.2. Focus on the titles, the headings, and the paragraphs. Write a brief set of guidelines using excerpts from these samples to illustrate your advice.
  2. Using your guidelines, revise Document 9.2.

DOCUMENTS

Document 9.1

Download

Document 9.2

Download