Improving the Draft: Revising, Editing, and Proofreading

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Start improving your draft by reflecting on what you have written thus far:

Revise your draft.

If your readers are having difficulty with your draft, or if you think there is room for improvement, try some of the strategies listed in the Troubleshooting Guide that follows. It can help you fine-tune your presentation of the genre’s basic features.

A TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE

Click the Troubleshooting Guide to download.

A Focused, Well-Defined Problem

My readers aren’t convinced that my problem is serious or even exists.

  • Change the way you present the problem to address readers’ concerns more directly.

  • Add information—statistics, examples, description, and so on—that members of your audience are likely to find persuasive or that they can relate to.

  • Consider adding visuals, such as graphs, tables, or charts, if these would help clarify the problem for your audience.
A Well-Argued Solution

My readers aren’t convinced that my solution is a good one.

  • Try to make your solution more convincing by discussing similar solutions used successfully elsewhere or by demonstrating more clearly how it will solve the problem.

  • Add evidence (such as facts, statistics, and examples) to support your reasons.

  • Review the steps needed to enact your solution; if necessary, lay them out more clearly.

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An Effective Response to Objections and Alternative Solutions

My readers have raised objections to my solution.

  • Cite research studies, statistics, or examples to refute readers’ objections.

  • Concede valid points or modify your solution to accommodate the criticism.

  • If you can neither refute nor accommodate objections, rethink your solution.

My readers have proposed alternative solutions that I don’t discuss.

  • If possible, establish shared values with those who propose alternative solutions, but show why their solutions will not work as well as yours.

  • If you cannot demonstrate that your solution is preferable, consider arguing that both solutions deserve serious consideration.
A Clear, Logical Organization

My readers are confused by my proposal or find it hard to follow.

  • Try outlining your proposal to be sure that the overall organization is strong; if it is not, try moving, adding, or deleting sections to strengthen coherence.

  • Consider adding a forecasting statement and using key terms in your thesis and repeating them when you discuss your main points.

  • Check to see that you use topic sentences to introduce your main points and that you provide appropriate transitions.

Edit and proofread your draft.

Several errors occur often in essays that propose solutions: ambiguous use of this and that, and sentences that lack an agent. The following guidelines will help you check your essay for these common errors.

Avoiding Ambiguous Use of This and That

The Problem Because you must frequently refer to the problem and the solution in a proposal, you will often use pronouns to avoid the monotony or wordiness of -repeatedly referring to them by name. Using this and that vaguely to refer to other words or ideas, however, can confuse readers.

The Correction Add a specific noun after this or that. For example, in his essay in this chapter, Patrick O’Malley writes:

Furthermore, professors could help students prepare for midterm and final exams by providing sets of questions from which the exam questions will be selected. . . . This solution would have the advantage of reducing students’ anxiety about learning every fact in the textbook. . . . (par. 13)

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O’Malley avoids an ambiguous this in the second sentence by adding the noun solution. (He might just as well have used preparation or action or approach.) Here’s another example:

Revising Sentences That Lack an Agent

A Note on Grammar and Spelling Checkers

These tools can be helpful, but do not rely on them exclusively to catch errors in your text: Spelling checkers cannot catch misspellings that are themselves words, such as to for too. Grammar checkers miss some problems, sometimes give faulty advice for fixing problems, and can flag correct items as wrong. Use these tools as a second line of defense after your own (and, ideally, another reader’s) proofreading and editing efforts.

The Problem A writer proposing a solution to a problem usually needs to indicate who should take action to solve it. Those who are in a position to take action are called “agents.” Look, for example, at this sentence from Patrick O’Malley’s proposal:

To get students to complete the questions in a timely way, professors would have to collect and check the answers. (par. 12)

In this sentence, professors are the agents. They have the authority to assign and collect study questions, and they would need to take this action in order for this solution to be successfully implemented.

Had O’Malley instead written “the answers would have to be collected and checked,” the sentence would lack an agent. Failing to name an agent would have made his argument less convincing, because it would have left unclear one of the key parts of any proposal: who is going to take action.

The Correction When you revise your work, ask yourself who or what performed the action in any given sentence. If there’s no clear answer, rewrite the sentence to give it an agent. Watch in particular for forms of the verb to be (the ball was dropped, exams should be given, etc.), which often signal agentless sentences.

Note: Sometimes, however, agentless sentences are appropriate, as when the agent is clear from the context, unknown, or less important than the person or thing acted upon.