People value intimacy, spending much time and energy trying to form intimate relationships. However, once formed, those relationships may begin to suffer; a new job or child, or dysfunctional behaviors, may ramp up the stress in the relationship. Psychologists like the Gottmans have studied couples in conflict, and here’s what they have to say.
1. A couple is quite happy after the birth of their first child, but a year or so later they are no longer happy in their relationship. According to the Gottmans, what might account for this unhappiness?
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2. Harley is upset that her husband Jack doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to her after the birth of their child. She’s feeling irritated and, even with a new person in the house, strangely lonely. What might we infer about Jack?
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3. John and Harley are having an argument. This married couple’s argument is most likely to contain which of the following exchanges:
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4. If Harley and John wanted to de-escalate their conflicts, they might try to avoid certain “toxic” behaviors. Which of the following is not a toxic behavior you should avoid mentioned by Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman in the video?
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5. It’s been a couple of years since the birth of their child, and John and Harley have a lot less sex than they used to. If John were to discuss his feelings about this, what would he be most likely to say?
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6. The Gottmans’ “Love Lab” is a unique way of obtaining data on relationship conflicts because:
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7. What kind of relationship outcomes would the Gottmans give a couple they describe as “volatile”?
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