Engaging with Student Writing on The Dark Night of the Soul

You will find below a couple of responses to Richard Miller written by students using the “Assignments for Writing” in Ways of Reading. The essays included here are previously unpublished, but we invite you to read them in much the same way as you would read the other essays collected in this book. They are meant to serve not as models or examples, but as opportunities to work on an essay as a reader and as a writer. The first essay is a response to question 4 in “Assignments for Writing”:

Books Aren’t Enough

By Austin Crull

Perched on a shelf above my bed are a few dozen novels with worn covers and faded letters written down their spines. These books fit right in with their surroundings. A messy bed, clothes strewn about the room, and a desk with just about any item you could think of spread randomly across it. Yet there is a distinct difference here. The books are worn, but they stand neatly in line. Their spines are cracked, yet they emanate a feeling of composition rather than chaos. In their pages are stories about wizards, elves, and tons of other imaginative creatures that can only be found on the pages of fantasy novels. What can a book say about a person? And how can we discover this answer if that which we are searching for is about ourselves? It seems that self-analysis is the only means of reaching these answers. In a way, we must step outside ourselves in order to truly find what makes us who we are. In this instance, books are the evidence collected for self-inspection, and just as Jon Krakauer studied Chris McCandless in his book Into the Wild, we too can gain a wealth of knowledge about ourselves through the books we read.

Stepping over and around the mess on the floor, I step directly in front of the bookshelf of a nineteen-year-old college student. One book stands out from the rest. It is larger than the rest, but that’s not what makes it so apparent to me. While the entire collection looks well used, this book in particular looks as though it has been picked up far more than the rest. The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien is inscribed down the side in faded golden letters. The story is well known — one of unlikely friendships, good versus evil, and overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles. So what does this tell us? That this person has friends? That this person hates evil and maybe has overcome a few obstacles in his life? Were this the case, then it seems we’ve discovered the identity of just about every kid in the world. It is not these truths that we are searching for. They speak neither to the complexities of a person nor to the depths of human emotion. What about this one book tells something that nothing else in the room could possibly reveal? The fact that it has been read numerous times says something in and of itself. This book is important. Something is locked within the text of these pages that enthralls the reader so much that he comes back and reads it time and time again.

One of these components is the sheer depth of this novel. Its author, Tolkien, spent a lifetime writing the pages of this book, leaving no question unanswered and no detail overlooked. Perhaps this says something about its reader. A book like this may reveal the curiosity of our subject. He is someone who searches for every answer and needs to know every detail. Another component may be the magnitude of the story. In the book the fate of the world rests on the shoulders of some of the smallest and seemingly most insignificant characters. To an outsider this can suggest the insecurities of the reader. Perhaps the reader connects with the insignificance of the characters. There is hope in the story and reassurance that no one is truly insignificant. Our reader no doubt finds comfort in these ideas. In addition to these ideas, one notion is quite evident that our reader may identify with. Adventure. Looking around this room, you can see textbooks everywhere. It is a college kid’s dorm after all. This book no doubt offers an escape from the exams, a relief from the readings about molecules and economics. This book provides excitement, and it disconnects readers from mediocre reality.

So what does this all really say about our subject? He has insecurities. Sometimes he wishes to break free from the bonds of reality. These conclusions seem to be similar to the few that were drawn earlier. They are shared by nearly everyone. These conclusions don’t seem to create an identity as much as they create the picture of humanity. It is at this point where I notice the problem with our question. There is no sense of individuality when we look upon the books in this room. Thousands of people have read all these books. They provide a blank page when we try to interpret a person through them. It is the mind we are trying to unlock which creates the interpretation for us. Without seeing how someone reacts to the pages of The Lord of the Rings, we have no chance of discovering who they are. Our thoughts and actions are what reveal our identities — not those of an author. It is at these moments, when we think we understand someone, that we fall short.

In Richard Miller’s Writing at the End of the World, he mentions that the author of Into the Wild, Jon Krakauer, researches who his subject (Chris McCandless) is through his readings. No doubt this is true; however, Krakauer also researches McCandless through interviews with family and friends, his writings, and his actions. That is how Krakauer develops an identity for his subject. The human mind is so complex that it takes more than one medium for us to develop an identity for another person. And even with all the resources at Krakauer’s fingertips, who’s to say that his suggestions are accurate? It seems an insurmountable challenge to create an identity for someone else no matter what the resources at your disposal.

Austin Crull’s essay, “Books Aren’t Enough,” seems to both enact and challenge Miller’s arguments about how reading might shape a human mind. Crull speculates about himself through the books he finds in his room, but he also reflects on the room itself and on the condition of the books he finds there. It seems he wants us to consider not only the books but also the context in which they are found. Ultimately, he tells us: “Without seeing how someone reacts to the pages of The Lord of the Rings, we have no chance of discovering who they are. Our thoughts and actions are what reveal our identities — not those of an author.” What does Crull seem to be arguing in this statement? How does he want to intervene in Miller’s questions about literacy and the way reading might reflect one’s “inner life”? Why do you suppose Crull wants to focus on “how someone reacts”? Is this issue of reaction one Miller misses or neglects? How might you position Crull and Miller as contributing to the same conversation? How do they converge, collaborate, or challenge each other?

The essay below is a response to question 2 in "Assignments for Writing":

Dreams: The Core of One’s Identity?

By Brady Bartlett

Sigmund Freud believed that dreams are the symbolic language of the subconscious mind. So what does that tell us? Are dreams impulses or desires that are too harmful or disturbing to our conscious mind? Are they suppressed feelings that we have shoved deep inside of ourselves? A person’s superego keeps the subconscious mind from acting out — one’s superego is shut off during the dream state — so are dreams the profound hidden passions that drive and influence somebody?

My roommate keeps a journal of the dreams he has. He wakes up in the morning and writes them down to make sure he doesn’t miss any details. What would somebody be able to learn about Obi if they stumbled on his journal of dreams? Is it fair to make assumptions about Obi’s motives or thoughts based on complex symbolic dreams? His dreams could be nothing but exaggerations of thoughts and interactions that occurred throughout the day. Is it fair for me to make these assumptions about Obi based on his subconscious mind?

I am on a bridge. It is a brown bridge, and I am running. The city is behind me. Some force starts to push me. I start to fall off the bridge to the left. I am falling in air. Right before I hit the ground, I wake up.

Does Obi live in the city? Maybe he is afraid of the city and does not want to be stuck there his whole life. He feels threatened about his surroundings — he no longer wants to be there — he runs. Obi is on the bridge, on his way out of the city, and then he falls off of the bridge. Obi does not believe in himself. Instead of seeing himself get out of the city, he falls off before he gets away from the danger. He thinks that he will not be able to make it away from the city. He worries that he does not have what it takes to get out.

I’m in the woods with my older brother. We are climbing this big rock in the woods. All of a sudden a few giant robot monkeys start coming toward my brother and me. They have guns! My brother tells me to hide. He starts shooting them, but is shot in the leg. I run up next to him. I grab the gun and start shooting. They are getting closer. I wake up.

Obi’s brother takes the normal older brother role in life. His older brother protects him even if it is a life-and-death situation. There is definite trust that his older brother will watch out for him, even against giant robot monkeys. The point right after his older brother gets shot in the leg and Obi runs to his aid shows that the trust and love are mutual. His brother is willing to risk his life to save him, and Obi has his brother’s back also. The fact that he grabbed the gun and started shooting back probably means he is pretty brave or at least in the face of danger he stands up. He is not a coward. He is a person who cares greatly about his family.

I’m on a trip to California. I am going to see the Dodgers vs. Indians baseball game. At the game I get the urge to play floor hockey. Next thing I know I am playing floor hockey at USC. While playing, I look up and see my buddy from home (who goes there), and after I finish the game, I go give him a hug. I wake up.

This friend of his is probably pretty close to him. Maybe they have talked about visiting each other, and that is what brought this dream about. He misses his friend and wants to see him. Seeing him reminds him of home, which he also misses, but not enough to go home. He is happy being independent but still wanted to get that sense of home. He is also probably someone who likes sports, seeing as in his dream he both watched one and played one.

I am older; in my thirties if I had to guess. I am dressed in a suit, and my date is wearing a gorgeous blue dress. We are at a fancy restaurant. Suddenly we’re in a hot tub at a mansion. Nobody is around but us. It is quiet. The sun is setting, and the view out to the ocean is breathtaking. As I lean in for a kiss, the alarm goes off . . . of course.

From this I get that Obi is ambitious. I think that a normal life is not in his plans for the future. He has bigger plans. This may not be his ideal dream house or girl, but he is hoping that he lives nicely when he is older. He could be high maintenance and used to this type of living, or he does not live like this and aspires to be successful. If he aspires to be like this, his standards are high. Instead of being content with a nice family in the countryside, he goes for the gold. Fancy suit, beautiful girl, expensive restaurant, mansion, ocean view. He thinks this is what will make him happy in life.

Certainly one cannot figure out a great deal about people through their dreams. Think of a dream that you have had more than once. One that sticks with you. What does it say about you? Why do you think you had it? The problem with dreams is that they are not fully understood. Even I cannot tell you what my dreams mean. My guess would be a more educated guess because I know more about myself, but a guess nonetheless. This extends beyond dreams. You cannot judge someone or try to figure them out through dreams, their writing, what they read, or what music they listen to. To understand somebody, you have to communicate with them and try to get to know them.

When you read someone’s things to try to get a sense of who they are, too much is left for assumption and interpretation. Too many factors are not taken into consideration by the reader, like their mood. If I write something while I am in an angry mood, what is said will come off a lot differently than if I were in a very happy state of mind. Reading someone else’s dreams is very appealing because it is always interesting to see what goes on in somebody’s mind when they no longer have control. During dreams your morals are put to the side, and that barrier is no longer there. Your mind is free to do what it likes. Feelings that are so deep that you do not even acknowledge their existence may arise during dreams. The dream could be a fantasy that is not possible to achieve in real life.

Do dreams really mean anything to someone? Perhaps they are just some connections to something still on the conscious mind. Maybe somebody just told Obi a story or he watched a movie, and in his dream state it was taken to a completely different level. In the dream state there are no boundaries. You can fly, be invisible, never die, be wealthy, or even not look the same. You are at the mercy of your subconscious mind. If someone tries to interpret these images made from your subconscious mind, it is simply unfair. You are not even sure what these symbolic messages mean, so how would somebody else know? Next time you have a dream, write it down and think of what might be said about you if a total stranger tried to interpret it.

Brady Bartlett experiments with form in this essay. He moves back and forth between his thinking about Obi’s dream journal and quotations from the journal. We might understand Bartlett’s essay as experimenting with shifts in perspective, just as Susan Griffin’s essay “Our Secret” does. However, rather than writing an essay that engages with a text that Obi reads, Bartlett chooses to engage with a text that Obi writes, a text that is intended to record the images and narratives of his subconscious mind. Austin Crull, in his essay “Books Aren’t Enough,” seems to suggest that reactions might be more telling than merely what one reads. Does Bartlett’s essay spend time thinking about reactions as well? What does Bartlett seem to suggest about how literacy practices (reading and writing) shape and reflect lives? Bartlett interprets Obi through his dreams; however, at the close of his essay, he seems to be questioning whether this is a legitimate or fair strategy for interpretation. What appears to be his concern? Does Miller have similar concerns as he offers his interpretations of Eric Harris’s journal? Consider Bartlett, Crull, and Miller as three writers who are all trying to tackle the difficult project of representing their own and others’ readings. How would you describe each of their approaches? What are they saying to one another?