E3-c: Including details that support the main idea

E3-cInclude details that support the main idea directly.

In most cases, academic readers in the United States expect writing to stay focused, each sentence supporting the main point of its paragraph. Your writing should include details, of course, but each detail should directly support your main point. Otherwise readers may think that you have lost your focus or are wasting their time.

If you like to include long descriptions or details that are interesting but not directly related to the main idea, or if this style is valued in your home culture, you might need to change your style to suit your new college audience. To recognize what academic English readers consider necessary details, try reading student papers that are considered effective models of academic writing. Often the best way to improve your own writing skills is to review several models.

In the following paragraph, the writer wanders off the topic (see the highlighted sentence). In the revision, each detail supports the main idea of the paragraph, and there are no unnecessary details.

paragraph with unnecessary details

The gray wolf may not be as harmful to cattle ranching as some believe. Many residents of the western United States are opposed to allowing the gray wolf into western wilderness areas because they believe that the wolves will kill ranchers’ herds and ruin their businesses. However, in the last few years, very few cows have been killed by wolves, while thousands of cows have been killed by lightning, storms, and other animals, including coyotes. Although the coyote is related to the wolf and inhabits the same areas, it is lighter in color and smaller in size. While wolves may cause some economic losses, to say that wolves alone will ruin the ranching business overstates the animals’ actual impact.

focused paragraph

The gray wolf may not be as harmful to cattle ranching as some believe. Many residents of the western United States are opposed to allowing the gray wolf into western wilderness areas because they believe that the wolves will kill ranchers’ herds and ruin their businesses. However, in the last few years, very few cows have been killed by wolves, while thousands of cows have been killed by lightning, storms, and other animals, including coyotes. While wolves may cause some economic losses, to say that wolves alone will ruin the ranching business overstates the animals’ actual impact.