E3-e: Sample student essay
E3-eSample student essay
The following brief summary of a book chapter was written by HwaSoo Ryoo, a student in a composition class. The first version below shows Ryoo's initial draft with her instructor's comments. The second version is Ryoo's final draft.
rough draft, with instructor’s comments
Identifying revision goals
After receiving her instructor’s feedback on her first draft, student writer HwaSoo Ryoo visited the writing center. She worked with a tutor, who helped her identify three manageable goals for revising her draft as well as sections in her handbook that Ryoo could consult as she revised.
revision goals
- Instead of copying the language of the authors, try to understand the meaning more and put more into my own words. (Paraphrasing)
- Identify all nouns in the draft and work with my instructor or a tutor to decide if articles are necessary. (Articles, types of nouns)
- Use transitions between paragraphs and between ideas. (Transitions, coherence)
final draft
Marginal annotations indicate MLA-style formatting and effective writing.
