S6-b: Choppy sentences
Short sentences demand attention, so you should use them primarily for emphasis. Too many short sentences, one after the other, make for a choppy style.
If an idea is not important enough to deserve its own sentence, try combining it with a sentence close by. Put any minor ideas in subordinate structures such as phrases or subordinate clauses. (See B3.)
The writer wanted to emphasize that the Parks Department minimizes its use of chemicals, so she put the reason in a subordinate clause beginning with because.
A minor idea is now tucked into an appositive phrase (a 184-mile waterway constructed in the 1800s).
Although subordination is ordinarily the most effective technique for combining short, choppy sentences, coordination is appropriate when the ideas are equal in importance.
Combining two short sentences by joining their predicates (displayed…sent) is an effective coordination technique.
Multilingual Unlike some other languages, English does not repeat objects or adverbs in adjective clauses. The relative pronoun (that, which, whom) or relative adverb (where) in the adjective clause represents the object or adverb. See M3-d.
The pronoun it cannot repeat the relative pronoun that.
Using coordination to combine sentences of equal importance
1. Consider using a comma and a coordinating conjunction. (See P1-a.)
| , and | , but | , or | , nor |
| , for | , so | , yet |
2. Consider using a semicolon with a conjunctive adverb or transitional phrase. (See P3-a.)
| also | however | next |
| as a result | in addition | now |
| besides | in fact | of course |
| consequently | in other words | otherwise |
| finally | in the first place | still |
| for example | meanwhile | then |
| for instance | moreover | therefore |
| furthermore | nevertheless | thus |
3. Consider using a semicolon alone. (See P3-a.)
Using subordination to combine sentences of unequal importance
1. Consider putting the less important idea in a subordinate clause beginning with one of the following words. (See B3-e.)
| after | before | that | which |
| although | even though | unless | while |
| as | if | until | who |
| as if | since | when | whom |
| because | so that | where | whose |
2. Consider putting the less important idea in an appositive phrase. (See B3-c.)
3. Consider putting the less important idea in a participial phrase. (See B3-b.)
