The comment: Narrow your introduction

Similar comments

• Unfocused intro
• Too broad

Understanding the comment

When readers point out that your introduction needs to be “narrowed,” the comment often signals that the beginning sentences of your essay are not specific or focused.

Strategies for revising

• Reread your introduction and ask questions. Are the sentences leading to your thesis specific enough to engage readers and communicate your purpose? Do these sentences lead logically to your thesis? Do they spark your readers’ curiosity and offer them a reason to continue reading?
• Try engaging readers with a “hook” in your introduction — a question, quotation, paradoxical statement, vivid example, or an image.
• Try cutting some of your introductory sentences. Sometimes writers spend too long working up to their main point. Look for the sentence where your topic really becomes clear, and considering cutting or moving the sentences that come before.

Exercise: Introductions

Related topics:

Drafting an introduction with thesis

Writing an introduction