Shifts in point of view

The point of view of a piece of writing is the perspective from which it is written: first person (I or we), second person (you), or third person (he/she/it/one or they). Writers who are having difficulty settling on an appropriate point of view sometimes shift confusingly from one to another. The solution is to choose a suitable perspective and then stay with it.

First person (I or we)

The I (or we) point of view, which emphasizes the writer, is a good choice for informal letters and writing based primarily on personal experience.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: My first meeting with Eric, an 11th grader, took place during his library skills period. One noticed immediately that Eric displayed a sense of responsibility for his academic achievement that was belied by his grades. Revised sentence: My first meeting with Eric, an 11th grader, took place during his library skills period. I noticed immediately that Eric displayed a sense of responsibility for his academic achievement that was belied by his grades.

In a personal reflective essay, such as the one from which this passage was taken, the writer should stick with the first person because she is relating her experiences in the classroom.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: We observed seven autistic children in the first phase of our study. We recorded patterns of repetitive behaviors over two weeks. You then completed a literature review and based your conclusions on your observations and the literature. Revised sentence: We observed seven autistic children in the first phase of our study. We recorded patterns of repetitive behaviors over two weeks. You then completed a literature review and based our conclusions on our observations and the literature.

The writer should have stayed with the we point of view. You is inappropriate because the writer is not addressing readers directly.

Second person (you)

The you point of view, which emphasizes the reader, works well for giving advice or explaining how to do something.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: One needs a password and a credit card number to access this database. You will be billed at an hourly rate. Revised sentence: You need a password and a credit card number to access this database. You will be billed at an hourly rate.

You is an appropriate choice because the writer is giving advice directly to readers.

Note, however, that you should not use you in an indefinite reference meaning “anyone.”

Third person (he, she, it, they, one, nouns, pronouns)

The third-person point of view, which emphasizes the subject, is appropriate in formal academic and professional writing.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: Several studies have shown that monetary incentives are not always enough to maintain good employer-employee relations. You have to provide clear goals, expect accountability on both sides, and engage in ongoing communication. Revised sentence: Several studies have shown that monetary incentives are not always enough to maintain good employer-employee relations. Employers have to provide clear goals, expect accountability on both sides, and engage in ongoing communication.

In a business report, the focus should be consistently on the subjects. Business reports rarely address the reader directly (you).

Shifts from the third-person singular to the third-person plural are especially common.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: A police officer is often criticized for always being there when they aren't needed and never being there when they are. Revised sentence: Police officers are often criticized for always being there when they aren't needed and never being there when they are.

Although the writer might have changed they to he or she (to match the singular officer), the revision in the plural is more concise. In both revisions, the pronouns and antecedent agree.

Exercises:

Shifts: person and number

All shifts 1

All shifts 2

Editing for shifts