When readers point out that your introduction needs to be “narrowed,” the comment often signals that the beginning sentences of your essay are not specific or focused.
Strategies for revising
Reread your introduction and ask questions. Are the sentences leading to your thesis specific enough to engage readers and communicate your purpose? Do these sentences lead logically to your thesis? Do they spark your readers’ curiosity and offer them a reason to continue reading?
Try engaging readers with a “hook” in your introduction—a question, a quotation, a paradoxical statement, a vivid example, or an image.